Because of you
by Furyan Goddess
Summary: Taylor meets a woman, but there's more to her than appears. Based on Because of You by Kelly Clarkson and Amanda by Boston.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Furyan Goddess   
Title: Because of You, inspired by the song from Kelly Clarkson and Amanda by Boston  
Rating: Let's just be safe w/ NC17 for sexual content and language.   
Fandom: KAG/AU  
Disclaimer: Don't own Taylor or Matty or Scarpa or anyone/thing from KAG

Summary: A woman learns to love and trust through Taylor's gentle hand  
Pairing: Taylor/OC  
Archive: Yes  
Feedback: Yes please but be easy, my first ever KAG fic   
Author's Notes:

Her name is Amanda, Mandy for short, that's what they've always called her regardless if that's what she wanted or not. It didn't matter what she wanted, she didn't matter, not to anyone.

Her mother was ill, in the mental sense. She was depressed, never getting out of bed for what seemed like weeks at a time. Sometimes Mandy had to force her to bathe, to eat, she was eleven.

Amanda was left to raise her little sister, she was a good kid but Mandy wasn't a mother, not at eleven, and not at seventeen when she emancipated myself and became her legal guardian. But she shut up and did was she was told, what she thought was right, it was better than a beating when she was younger and better than leaving her sister to a life of hell, one which she had lived.

Her Father was never around much; she really doesn't remember much about him. He shortly after Lissa was born; her Mom sank into Postpartum Depression and it took a while for her to come out of it, when she did, Dad kept throwing it back up into her face, calling her useless and that she wasn't fit to be a Mom. Good things, nice things to say to the clinically depressed… so he packed up and left and guess what happened to her… you got it, right back down hill into her own world of pain and tears.

She'd pull it together for doctor's appointments or welfare appointments, made it look like she was doing a good job, but it was Mandy doing the job.

When her mother did speak to her, she always talked down to her. _Mandy, you're stupid, you're lazy. You can't do anything right._ _Don't ever get married Mandy, men are pigs. They will leave you broken and pour and with babies to rise. You can't trust anyone but yourself Mandy. _

In the eyes of her Mother, Mandy was useless, never pulling her weight and would never amount to anything but a broken down, bitter woman. Mandy knew different, she knew she would never let herself be like her Mom, she would make something out of her self, no matter what.

Every night she would hear her mother cry over her father, as far as she was concerned, he was a loser too. He just walked away from them, his kids and left them there, left her there to take care of a baby. He never sent money and never bothered to visit them, he never cared, no one did.

Mandy didn't have time for boys, hardly had time for school work. She worked, studied and took care of her sister and her mother. A lot to handle for a teenager, for anyone really. She decided at seventeen she had had enough and divorced her mother.

She was pissed and called Mandy every name in the book. Said she was a whore and that she worked the streets. She said she had lost control of Mandy when she was only eleven, that's when it started, when her beautiful daughter turned into the slut she was.

The court saw though the woman's lies because the neighbor's stood up for Mandy. They told the court how she raised Lissa, with their help, while she worked part time and went to school. The courts awarded her full custody of the girl and declared her an adult.

Later that day, she packed up her and Lissa's meager belongings and moved into a tiny, two room apartment and never looked back.

That was three years ago. Amanda was now twenty and Lizza was nine. They still lived in that tiny little apartment, sharing a bedroom. No dating, no real friends, nothing but each other.

Amanda knew it was pathetic but what was someone to do when they had a nine year old to watch after? So she worked and took classes when she could. She longed to go to school full time but it would never happen, at least not for a few years.

Amanda worked in a diner down the street, she made decent money and she could work the late breakfast and lunch shift when Lissa was at school and still try to be home for her to help with her homework and take her to dance class.

Lissa loved to dance and it was the one thing Mandy insisted on doing for her. She would find a way to pay for it so she worked twice as hard, picked up a few extra shifts and when that wasn't cutting it, she decided to get a second job at a local Italian restaurant called Scarpa's. She knew she could do the work; she had been waiting tables since she was sixteen and she was good at what she did.

A young man came out and greeted her. He was dressed in a dark suit and looked smooth and charming but there was something about him that made Mandy think he liked the ladies and she wasn't interested in him or anyone else for that matter.

"Hi, my name is Chris Scarpa, how can I help you today?" 

Mandy went to shake his hand and found him kissing her knuckles instead. She resisted the urge to wipe them off on her pants but only barely. "Hello Mr. Scarpa, my name is Mandy and I'm looking for a job."

"Really, doing what?"

"Waiting tables." 

"Can you read or speak Italian?" He asked her.

"No,"

"Well the menu is in Italian,"

"I can learn, I'm a fast learner. I've been waiting tables for four years now, I'm good. I could really use the job Mr. Scarpa."

"Please, call me Chris."

"Ok, Chris."

"What shift are you looking for?"

"I was thinking Tuesday and Wednesday lunch and Thursday night and maybe every other Saturday?"

"Just every other? Saturday's a big money night."

"Yes, I can only do every other one. Please, I can start tomorrow."

"Tomorrow you say? Well it just so happens I'm down a waitress tomorrow so you can give it a shot.

There's a dress code, black skirt, white shirt and tie. Your hair has to be up off your face and out of the food. No long, hideous nails and easy on the make up. We're running a restaurant not a brothel."

He began to walk and gestured her to follow him. "Pay is six bucks an hour plus tips and I'm sure you know that is a lot more than the average place pays their wait staff. After you've been here a while, and if you're good, you can get a chance to work parties and that's where the big money comes in. I don't tolerate call off's or you being late. You get one shot and that's it, after that, you're gone. Any questions?"

"Only two. What kind of shoes and what time do I start?"

He smiled at her, "Shoes, well you can wear what your comfortable in, but I've always been partial to heels myself especially with a skirt. As for the time to start how about you get here at ten thirty and we can get you ready. Deal?"

"Yes." She said shaking his hand. "Thank you so much Mr. I mean, Chris. I won't let you down."

She left Scarpa's with a new spring in her step and went to spend some of her tiny savings on new clothes for work. She cringed at the price but she knew she had to look good to earn any kind of money. She found a pair of heels that were sexy and comfortable at the same time. She may not be interested in dating but she knew men liked to look and looking got you tips.

The shoes had a pretty high heel on them compared to what she was use to wearing. She was tiny, only about five feet three inches and was one fifteen wet. She wasn't self conscious about her size, she liked being small, people tended to notice you less and the less you got noticed, the less chance you got in trouble.

-

She hardly slept that night; she was so excited about the new job. She got Lissa off to school and started to get ready for work. After she was all dressed she looked into the mirror and took a deep breath.

She pulled her red hair back and put it into a French Twist and she applied a little make up around her eyes and again wished they were blue or green instead of the dark brown she ended up with. She always thought that if you had red hair you should have the green eyes to go with it but not her, hers was so brown they were almost black.

Her mother always told her they were hard and cold and that she got her eyes from her daddy. Her mom had the blue eyes and so did Lissa.

Slipping her feet into her new heels she grabbed her keys and left.

Her heart may have been pounding and her knees just about knocking but you would never have known it. Her hands were rock steady, her face, though in her mind was plain, wore a friendly smile and she got every order right. Her tips were more than she made in two days at the diner and she was beside herself when her shift was over.

Chris told her what a good job she did and she thanked him again before slipping out the back door. She only glanced and muttered thank you at the man that held the door open for her as she hurried home.

That night she told Lissa about her new job and how if it worked out she would quit the diner and only have to work one job. She took Lissa to her dance class and could actually pay for the month instead of class to class. She felt her life was finally going to become a little bit easier.

-

"Who was that?" Taylor asked Scarpa.

"New waitress."

"Didn't know you needed another one."

"Don't but I couldn't turn her down. The eyes…"

"What about her eyes?" 

"They broke my heart, sad." Taylor grunted at him. Scarpa was always falling for girls and their 'eyes'.

"How'd she do?"

"Probably the best damn waitress I got."

"Better than Candy?" Taylor asked with a grin. Everyone was better than Candy; they just kept her around cause she was fantastic to look at, like keeping art.

Taylor made a mental note to come and check her out some day, see what she was made outa'.

-

Mandy worked lunch again the next day. She was slammed and then Chris and two of his friends sat down in her section. She wanted to cry, and with her heart in her throat she went over to take their order.

"Hello Chris." She said then smiled and said hi to the other two men with him.

"Hi Mandy. This is my friend Matty and that's Taylor."

"Hello. What can I get for you today?"

"Your name tag says Amanda." Taylor said to her. 

"Everyone calls me Mandy."

"Hi Mandy, it's nice to meet you." Matty said and held out a hand, "I'm Matty Demaret and that's Taylor Reese." She shook his hand and smiled. Taylor didn't offer her one of his and she was glad. He scared her. He was huge, she had never seen someone so large and muscular, and he had to weigh twice what she did, at least.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Demaret, Mr. Reese."

"Mr. Demaret?" Matty laughed, "Please, you make me feel old. Mr. Demaret is my father, call me Matty, and he's Taylor."

Demaret, she had heard of that name before, you couldn't live in New York and not know it, but she had never heard of Reese. She had also heard of Scarpa and had a feeling she might be working for the mob but she needed the money and didn't care. That didn't mean she needed to become chummy with them so she would take their orders and keep her distance.

She took their orders and tried not to shake when she felt the weight of Taylor's eyes on her. She smiled and was polite and made a point to make eye contact with them, _don't show them you're nervous_, she thought.

They ate and she was clearing away their dishes and pouring coffee when Taylor spoke to her again, "Amanda," she stopped and looked at him trying hard not to spill coffee as she did so. 

"Is there something else you need Taylor?"

"Why aren't you in school?" He asked her, completely confusing her.

"I graduated school."

"Why aren't you in college instead of working here?" he asked her, crossing his arms over his massive chest.

"Taylor." Matty snapped wondering what had gotten into his friend. Taylor was never one to pry.

"That's very personal Mr. Reese and I don't know you well enough to tell you." Mandy finished pouring the coffee and cleared the rest of the table and made a note to herself to stay away from Mr. Taylor Reese. He was nothing but trouble and he scared her senseless.

-

"What's wrong with you man? Why'd ya ask her something like that?" Matty hissed at Taylor when she was out of ear shot.

Taylor just shrugged his shoulders; he didn't really know why he had asked it, why it bothered him that someone her age, her size, worked so hard for a few bucks and hour.

After her shift was over, Chris told her she was doing a great job and he would see her Thursday night. She left out the back again and jumped when Taylor spoke to her again. 

His deep voice rasped over her skin and she shivered, "See ya tomorrow, Amanda."

She didn't look at him just nodded and said goodbye.

She knew it was wrong and she scolded herself for it all the time, _make eye contact when you talk to someone. Don't let them think you're weak_, but she never could meet the eye of a man when she wasn't working; she never had the guts to. She felt so naked when she looked into peoples eyes and at lunch when her eyes met Taylor's she felt he could see right though her.

His eyes, so dark and watchful. They didn't miss anything. His voice was so deep it almost hurt to listen to but at the same time she knew it could be deadly or soothing depending on what he wanted it to be.

She was in way over her head working at Scarpa's. What was she thinking? She needed the money and that was the only reason she was staying but hoped that she could do so and keep her head above water. She didn't want to get tangled up into anything that would put Lissa at risk.

He called her Amanda, no one called her that. Though she preferred it, she never voiced her objection, what would be the point, no one listened to her. And the way he said it, he almost purred it and she felt her heart pound in alarm.


	2. Let Me Take You Home Tonight

**2 Let me take you home tonight**

It was her first night shift and she felt she did well. It was now eleven at night and she was exhausted and her feet were killing her. A price she paid for wearing heels but the extra money and height made up for it. Tomorrow she would worry about her feet, for now, all she worried about was getting home to Lissa and to bed.

"You done sugar?" Candy asked her.

"Yes, just waiting on Big Jim to walk me out."

It was company policy that no woman left alone after dark. She had to wait for a man to walk her to her car or taxi or subway, which every mode of transportation she chose. Big Jim was one of their chef's. He was a very large black man who was the gentlest person Mandy have ever met. He looked scary but she had a feeling that he wouldn't hurt a flea.

"I'll walk you out."

Mandy startled at the deep voice that spoke to her. Where had he come from? She didn't want Taylor to walk her out; she didn't want to be alone with him anywhere.

"That's ok Taylor, Big Jim said he would. I don't want to be a bother." She muttered and turned her back on him and prayed that Big Jim would hurry up.

"Big Jim, I'm walking Amanda out." Taylor yelled and smiled when she turned around and glared at him before quickly dropping her eyes from his.

"You didn't need to do that. I'm sure you have better stuff to do that walk me out, Taylor."

"Not really, I like walking."

She tried really hard not to seem ungrateful. She didn't want to offend him or anger him. She was sure he was a very dangerous man when he was angered and she had no intention on ever finding out for herself.

Taylor held the door open for her and looked her over. There was something about her that awoken the need in him to protect her and he didn't understand it. She was so small, almost child like and he normally didn't find that attractive but on her, it made his mouth water.

He wondered what lay under that calm, timid exterior. Was she a firecracker? Her hand brushed his when she reached for the door the same time he did and he felt a jolt go up his entire arm. He almost laughed that someone the size of her could make him jump but he felt his heart pound all the same. _ Damn, I'm in trouble. _He thought to himself. He knew nothing about her but he still found himself drowning in her dark eyes.

He wanted to bury himself in her forever, both body and mind. He wondered if she tasted as good as she smelled and then pissed himself off when he thought about the other guys that had come before him. He was jealous about a woman he didn't know and about men he didn't know existed. Taylor growled and she jumped.

"Where's your car?" He asked her roughly.

"I don't drive, I walked."

"You can't walk this time of night."

He looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was, she had never thought about how she would get home after dark. She never usually worked this late and it had never been a problem before. She always walked or took the subway.

"I guess I will take the subway, it's only a few blocks anyway. Thank you Taylor for walking me out." She went to turn and head toward the subway but he grabbed her arm. "Let go of me, what are you doing?" She couldn't keep the panic from her voice and she felt herself start to tremble.

Taylor felt her start to shake and cursed himself and dropped his hand. He didn't want to scare her, he just wanted to give her a ride home, he needed to be sure she was safe. "I'm going to take you home."

"No that's ok. I'll take the subway." She argued with him and he was please when she met his eye and tried to stand her ground.

"No, let me take you home tonight."

She shook her head. She didn't want to get him the van with him; she didn't want to owe him anything. She didn't want him to know anything about her but most of all she didn't want him to know where she lived.

There were two reasons for that, one, he scared her. He was all muscles and demands. He had bad boy written all over him. Tattoo's, cigarettes and danger and number two, she was embarrassed about where she was forced to live.

Mandy was sure he had a nice house or at least a nice apartment. Not some rat and roach infested hole like she and Lissa lived in. It was small and clean but you could only do so much with the rooms when the building was full of vermin. She had put extra locks on their door and bars on the windows and tried to keep them as safe as she could but the neighborhood was dangerous and overrun with gangs and drugs. She hoped to be out of that place by the end of the year and somewhere that was better and safer for them both.

"Get in the van Amanda; I'm not letting you take the subway." He told her as gently as he could. Taylor was not a gentle man; he had no idea how to be. He was hard and dangerous and deadly but with her he wanted to be kind.

"I don't… I don't want you to see…"

"See what?"

"Where I live." She said cursing the tears that blurred her vision. Damnit she would not cry, she was doing the best she could for her and her sister and she shouldn't feel guilty or embarrassed over that.

Taylor cupped her face gently but quickly then opened the door of his van up and waited for her to get in. She could tell he would not take no for an answer.

On a huge sigh, she climbed in and flinched when he closed the door. She felt that was the door of her fate slamming shut and sealing her life with his.

-

Taylor stopped in front of her apartment building and felt his jaw and fists clench. This place was a dump but he kept his comments to himself. He didn't want to hurt her feelings or embarrass her anymore than he was sure she was.

This was a nasty part of town, he knew from experience. He had some machines in the gas station a block away and he hated to come to collect his money.

"Thank you, Taylor." She said softly before she went to open the door.

He was out and there before she had a chance to step out. She looked at him and shivered. His eyes were hard and cold. She tried to move around him but he stepped in her way and forced her to look at him.

"What?" 

"Why do you live here?" he asked her.

"Why? Hum, nice neighborhood, nice view… low crime rate." She bit out sarcastically. She had no idea where that came from but it felt good to say it, for once to be a smart ass. She saw the edge of his mouth twitch as he tried to keep from smiling.

"Good night," she said and was grabbed again by the arm.

"I'm walking you up."

She growled. She hated to be pushed around; she had been for the first seventeen years of her life. "I'm a big girl Taylor; I can walk up to my own apartment."

"Don't look very big to me." He said giving her a once over. She could feel a blush start at her toes and travel up her body. She wasn't sure if it was temper or excitement at him noticing her and she didn't want to know. All she knew was she didn't like to be told what to do.

She tried to push him away and felt her stomach drop out when her hands touched his chest. He was huge, bigger than he looked and she could feel every muscle ripple under her hand and his skin was so hot it felt like he was on fire, even though his shirt.

He followed her anyway, even when she tried to close the door in his face. His foot stopped it from closing and she heard him chuckle. They walked up the steps in silence, the elevator was out still, and it had been over three months since it worked.

She stopped in front of her door, number 4 and turned and looked at him. She didn't want to invite him in and she hoped he didn't expect her too.

"This is me. Thanks again, Taylor, for making sure I made it home in one piece."

He cocked his head to the side, "When do you work next?"

"Saturday night."

He flashed her a quick smile and a curt nod. "I'll drive home after your shift."

"No, you don't have…"

"I insist." 

"Taylor…"

"Amanda…" he imitated her perfectly and she giggled.

At the sound of her laugh everything in him stilled and he sucked in a wild breath. When he spoke, his voice was sensual, deeper than normal. "Good night, Amanda." He kissed her quickly on the cheek, so lightly she wasn't sure if his lips actually touched her and then he was striding away leaving her to stare at his back.

Her hands shook as she unlocked the door. Her mind was screaming at her, stay away from Taylor Reese but her heart was pounding… he kissed me… he kissed me.

She closed the door and spoke to her elderly neighbor about how Lissa was and if she did her homework with a smile on her face… one she didn't know she wore.


	3. Just Walk Away

**3 Just Walk Away**

Saturday night had come with a huge rush of dinner. She had been so busy that she didn't have time to think of Taylor, or him taking her home, not until her shift was just about over.

She heard the door open and like everyone else working that night, groaned at the thought of another table to wait. Then she saw him and shivered. She had forgotten all about him coming to take her home, in truth she hoped he had forgotten, no such luck it would seem.

Mandy heard him talking to a few people before he made his way over to her and crowded close. "You ready?"

"No, I still have a few things to do first. I don't know how long it will take me so you may not want to stay and wait. I'm sure you have better things to do." She told him politely, trying to get him to leave, it didn't work.

Taylor smiled at her and her attempt to get him to leave. He had never seen a woman so resistant to him and he was really starting to enjoy the game they were playing. "I think I'll wait."

_Great,_ she thought.

He did wait and opened the door again to his van. He drove her home in silence and got out before she could voice her protest and he walked her up to her apartment again. This time, there was no mistake; he kissed her on the lips. It was a firm, warm press of his mouth to hers, he lingered just long enough to make her head swim and then he pulled away.

As she watched him walk away the fear set in. She realized no matter what she did, what she wanted, Taylor Reese was in her life until he didn't want to be anymore. She, as always, had no say in it and she resented that part of him, even while she felt some foreign part of her burn for him.

-

The following week was the same dance. He would show up for lunch and she wondered if he actually had a job. He would eat and hardly say a word to her, just watch her. It made her nervous as hell. 

Thursday he was there to take her home and as his way, he added a little bit more to the kiss, a little slide of his tongue over the crease of her lips and a playful nip on her jaw before he pulled away.

Mandy was a wreck. Her mind was going in five different directions at once. What to do about her feelings for Taylor, how to take care of Lissa, work and finances, Taylor and last but not least, Taylor.

She was edgy, tired and frustrated and she didn't understand it. What did he have that was so different that made her feel? No one else ever could. She never had any interest in a man before, or a boy. Even in school, no one drew her like he did and she couldn't say it was their intense conversations, cause they didn't have them. He would just _look_ at her and she would feel naked and shy but at the same time she felt sexy and curious.

She had never been with a man, not that way and late at night, she wondered what it would be like to make love to Taylor. Then she would laugh at herself, Taylor making love? Please. But he never was aggressive with her, only kind and gentle, but his eyes burned, she could see that for what it was. Lust and heat, she'd have had to be blind not to see that.

Then there was the problem of Lissa. He had no idea about her. She would have to tell him. She wanted to tell him to drive him away but at the same time, she was afraid he would go. There was something magnetic about him that drew her, warmed her and she was becoming use to it and didn't want to go back to the way it was. That sealed the deal; she would have to tell him now so when he left, she wouldn't be totally devastated, like her mom had been.

She could, no would do this on her own. She didn't need Taylor Reese to screw up her life, Lissa's life. No, she wouldn't let another man walk out on her or Lissa ever again.

-

She knelt down to talk to Lissa outside the doors of Scarpa's. "Lissa, please don't touch anything ok? And don't ask for anything to eat. It's too expensive and I'm making spaghetti anyway tonight."

"You make the best, Momma." Lissa said with a smile. 

She called her Momma since she learned how to talk. It was one of the things that proved to the courts that Mandy was the on that raised her and not her 'mother'.

"I just need to pick up my paycheck and then you have dance class and then… spaghetti!" Lissa's favorite meal.

They walked in, holding hands so Mandy could keep Lissa from darting around and touching stuff.

"Lissa, honey, why don't you go and look at the fish tank in the back." Before she could finish her sentence, she was running over to it. Mandy thanked God for the fact that it was empty this time of day. "And don't bang on the glass and scare the fish."

She laughed to herself when she saw Lissa making fish faces at them and went into the back to get her check.

She ran into Candy and they spoke briefly. Candy loved to talk and it usually had no real meaning to the conversation. She was eye candy and Amanda felt a rush of jealously when she wondered if she and Taylor had ever hooked up.

She broke off the conversation a little abruptly but she needed to stop that line of thinking and by looking at Candy's perky huge boobs, tiny waist and perfect teeth, she knew she would just get madder.

-

Taylor had been thinking about Amanda all day. He didn't know what to make of her. She was so reserved and shy around him that he was wondering what the hell he was doing. Taylor Reese chasing a skirt that wanted nothing to do with him? Was he crazy? Was he that bored with woman that he would chase around one that was sure to be a cold fish? She was skinny, too skinny. She was short, tiny in fact. Her face never really showed any emotion and he realized he knew nothing about her, she never told him anything, not that he really had asked.

He, as true to his form, remained mostly quiet. It usually worked. Most women felt it was allusive and alluring. It didn't seem to work with Amanda. She didn't see him as a 'good listener' as the other ladies did. She, if possible, spoke less about herself than he did, and that was saying something.

Well he vowed to himself he would find out more, and soon.

He stopped at Scarpa's hoping to catch a glimpse of her, he knew it was payday. He also knew it was a long shot. It was two in the afternoon and he was sure she was there and gone by now but he couldn't stop himself.

The place was empty except for a small girl making fish faces in the back. He raised his eyebrow and thought, briefly; she looked familiar but then dismissed it.

The girl turned and looked at him and waved. He waved back and she must have taken it as an invitation to chat.

"Hi." She said coming over to him.

"Hey yourself." He rumbled back. Most kids were put off by his size and voice. He could tell she was young, probably around six or so would be his guess.

"Do you work here?" She asked him.

"No, my friend owns it."

"My Mommy works here."

"Good for her."

"What's that star tattoo on your arm mean?" 

"It means I'm Jewish." He told her, surprised at how well spoken she was for the age of six.

"My best friend is Jewish. She doesn't believe in Santa or Jesus."

"Ok." He told her as tried to walk around her.

"Do you believe in Santa?"

"Sure kid."

"I don't. He isn't real."

"What makes you say that?"

"Cause every year I ask Santa to send some help to my Mom, and he never does."

"I don't think Santa deals in people."

"Even so…"

Ok, there is no way this kid is six, he thought to himself.

"You're really big do you know that?"

"I've been told that before. You're really short." He was intrigued now with her, she was smart, likeable. He always liked kids.

"I know," she sighed, "It's genetic."

He threw back his head and laughed at that.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Mom's short."

"Who'd ya say your Mom was again?"

"I didn't. You're a stranger."

"Then why are you talking to me? You're not supposed to talk to strangers."

"You look like a nice guy." She told him.

"I'm not a nice guy little girl, far from it."

"Momma said I should stay way from people that aren't nice."

"She sounds smart."

"She is the smartest." Lissa turned her head and bounced away. 

Taylor looked up and locked eyes with Amanda. When Lissa slipped her small hand into hers, he felt like he had been punched in the gut. His Amanda had a kid?

"Mommy. I was talking to him. He's a stranger but he seems nice to me. He said he isn't but I think he is. It's in his eyes… did you see them. They are like little puppy dog eyes."

Mandy blushed about six shades of red before she could clear her throat to speak. "Hi, Taylor."

"Amanda." He said coolly.

"You know him?" Lissa asked her innocently.

"Yes, sweetie, I know him. Why don't you give Taylor and Me a minute to talk ok?" 

Lissa looked at her and then at Taylor and she could see, even with her almost ten year old eyes, the tension between them. "Ok," she said and walked back to the fish.

Taylor just looked at her and she could see a few emotions come and go on his face before it went blank again.

"I can explain."

"Really? How old is she? Six?" 

"Almost ten."

"Ten? What?" He stopped and did the math, "You had to have been what? Eleven, twelve?"

"Taylor," she tried again but was interrupted.

"You won't even kiss me and you have a kid?"

He was getting angry now, she could see it in the way the veins started to pop out on his forehead. Yelling would be next and then the hitting. The hitting always came after the yelling and during sometimes too.

She tried one last time, "It's not like that, Taylor."

"I bet it isn't. What, I ain't good enough for you?"

That hurt her.

That pissed her off.

"You ain't good enough for her." She bit out at him and was instantly sorry for her words.

His eyes narrowed and he took a step toward her. "I'd've been the best damn thing that'd've happened to ya." He growled at her.

"Why are the two of you fighting?" Lissa asked.

"Because Taylor is pigheaded and hotheaded." Mandy said, never taking her eyes from him.

"Because your Mommy is a liar."

"I never lied to you."

"You just failed to tell me you had a daughter." 

"It isn't your damn business."

They were shouting at each other now and Chris had come out to see what the matter was. Everyone else stayed away, they knew Taylor well enough not to tangle with him when he was angry. He saw the look in Taylor's eyes and tried to intervene, no good ever came out of that look.

"Yes it is my business, you're my business." He told her angrily. 

"I never asked to be your business, _you _made me your business and like always I never had a say in it. You're pushy Taylor. You don't ask, you take. You're pissed off right now because you can't just screw me and leave. It's too complicated now, too much baggage so you'll just walk away, just like he did. So go, you owe me nothing; we have no relationship, just walk away." 

That's what she did, she walked away from him. From sure heartbreak. They were better off this way, all three of them. He didn't want to hear her side of it; he saw whatever he wanted to see.


	4. Seeing Though the Eyes of a Child

**4 Seeing Though the Eyes of a Child**

Taylor watched her go and felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest.

"_You ain't good enough for her." _

Taylor winced at that again when he thought about it. It was true, every fuckin word she said was true and that's what burned his ass. She was right, she didn't lie, he didn't ask and she didn't tell.

He had just assumed. She was so young, so small. So… innocent and pure.

_Fuck a kid!_

"Taylor, you stupid fuck." Chris yelled at him, he and Matty were the only two people he let get away with that, well now it seemed that Amanda did too.

"Don't fuckin start on me Scarpa, I ain't in the mood."

"You can't just muscle your way into her life like that. She ain't like that."

"And how the fuck would you know?" Taylor rounded on Chris and took a step toward him. Did Chris have something for Amanda too; was he going behind Taylor's back?

"Think about it, Tay, for a minute before you knock me out. Eleven? Come on. Does she look like the type to fuck some guy at eleven and get knocked up?"

When Taylor just looked at him he thought maybe he was making some sense to the man and continued,

"You never ever tried to listen to what she had to say. Just bullied her like you always do."

"You saw the kid, they look like each other…like mother and daughter."

"Or Sisters?"

"Sisters? The kid called her Mommy." Taylor said but with a lot less heat in his voice as he turned and looked at the door again.

"You saw where they live, how they live. Mandy raises that kid as her own cause there's no one else to do it. That's her kid, but she didn't have her. That's her baby sister you stupid fuck!" Chris yelled the last part.

He was enraged at Taylor and this was the first time he had ever had the guts to stand up to him. Taylor could take him out with one punch but he didn't care at that point. Someone needed to talk some sense into his thick head and maybe, Chris, would be that person.

Taylor turned and looked at him, "You better watch your tone." 

"Or what? You gonna kick my ass for showing you the light? Fuck, Tay, not everything has to be a fight. I don't know what you have for her, but if you feel anything at all then you have some ass kissing to do."

"She ain't gonna talk to me now."

"You could try, a lots been said about trying."

"What can I say to make up for that? Sorry. Didn't mean to yell at you, imply you're a slut in front of the kid. Need any help? Money? Please don't kill me with that knife, I didn't mean to offend you, just trying to help. Yeah, I know you don't need my help. Yeah I know I'm a piece of shit. Yes, we _are_ all the same."

"Are you done?" Scarpa asked, trying not to laugh at Taylor's one sided conversation. He could swear this is the most he has heard the man talk in a year. 

"Yeah." He knew it was the way it was going to go though. He fucked up hardcore. "Sorry." He told Chris before he left to go to Amanda's apartment. She wasn't home. He would wait and they would talk. He would make sure they did.

-

"Mommy, why were you and that Taylor guy yelling?" Lissa asked.

"Because, sweetie, sometimes adults get mad at each other." She said with a sigh. _And sometimes adults are stupid_… she thought to herself, but she wasn't sure if she directed it toward herself or him.

Lissa was quiet for a while before she spoke again. "I think Taylor was sad."

Mandy stopped walking and looked down at the girl at her side. "What makes you say that?"

"Didn't you see his face? He was sad. And mad and he looked like it hurt inside."

_Shit! That hurts inside_.

"He made you hurt inside too didn't he?"

"Yes, baby, he did." Mandy said willing back tears as she began to walk again. 

"Why do people have to hurt each other?" Lissa asked.

_A question for the ages…_

"Sometimes people are too blind to see, too stubborn to see, or too scared to open their eyes."

"He didn't look scared, he looked mad."

"He was mad," and_ hurt…?_

"Because of me?" The little girl asked and stated at the same time.

Mandy knew she saw and heard too much. There was nothing she could hide from her. She saw everything.

"He was surprised is all. I think Taylor likes me and he was shocked to see you, that's all. He didn't know about you."

"Why didn't you tell him about me?" Her voice was low and watery.

"Stop it right now. Don't even think that." Mandy got down in her face as she spoke to her. "I didn't tell him because we hardly knew each other. I was gonna tell him soon, next time I saw him. I didn't get the chance. I love you, Lissa, never question that. I'm not sorry for raising you. You the only thing that matters to me, the only thing."

"You need someone else too, I'm growing up."

"Too damn fast." Mandy muttered as she pulled her into a hug. "Come on, we're gonna be late for dance class." The skipped the rest of the way, hand in hand and laughing like fools, like children they never got a chance to be.

-

It was almost five o'clock before he saw Amanda and Lissa walking down the street. At the sight of them, his palms grew moist and started to itch. Nerves? He never got nervous. But here he was, butterflies in his stomach and wet, itchy hands. _Fuck!_

He got out of his van when they approached the building. He stood there and looked at her, almost asking permission to cross the street.

"See, he's sad." Lissa whispered.

Mandy took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Her life was about to change drastically. "Come on." She told him and started to walk up the front steps. He was there to grab the door and hold it for her.

He didn't speak, just padded behind them, silent and overbearing.

Mandy paused at their door, then finally slipped the key into the locks and pushed it open. Lissa entered, turned and watched as first Taylor and then Amanda entered.

Mandy closed and locked the door behind her, it was habit, they always kept the door locked, no matter what time of day it was.

Taylor looked around the apartment. It was small but clean. Amanda was doing the best job she could do with what she had to work with.

"Nice place." He muttered.

"The building's a hole, Taylor."

"Maybe, but you made a nice nest."

"Thanks." She said and thought that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her, how pathetic.

"Taylor," Lissa asked, "I'm sorry we made you sad."

He looked down at the small girl and then hunched down in front of her.

"You did nothing wrong, Peanut. Don't be sorry." He told her.

"But you liked my Mommy and now you know about me, you're mad at her and you don't like her anymore."

_Ahh, the innocence of children…_

"I still like her; I wouldn't be here if I didn't still like her."

Lissa threw herself in to his arms, startling both of the adults. "Did Santa send you?" She asked quietly so only he could hear.

Taylor felt her heart lurch, such goodness and hope. "Maybe he did, but someone sent me a Peanut and an Angel."

"Are you staying for dinner?" She asked him. 

"I don't know, that's up to Amanda."

Both of them turned and looked at her. She was lost then. How could she deny either of them and their eyes. His molten chocolate and the clear blue of hers.

"Are you staying for dinner, Taylor?" She asked.

"I'd like too."

They had a lot to talk about, dinner was a start.


	5. I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

**5 I'm gonna make you love me**

"Lissa, why don't you wash up and then do some reading before it's time to eat." Mandy told the little girl.

"Taylor, will you read _Harry Potter_ to me?" Lissa asked him.

"Lissa, you know how to read, you leave Taylor alone." Mandy demanded and was brushed off by Taylor.

"It's ok, Amanda." Taylor told her as he took the book Lissa handed him and sat down. 

"I like his voice." Lissa told Mandy simply and then, to Amanda's horror, crawled up into Taylor's lap and laid her head on his chest.

She took a step in their direction with the intent of shooing Lissa off him but when he started to read, she couldn't move. His voice washed over her, filling the room with its presence.

She had always liked his voice, even though it could be scary, but when he read, the cadence of it was soothing. She should have felt uneasy with him there, they had never allowed a man into their apartment before, but with him, it wasn't. He seemed to just slide in and fit and that scared the hell out of her.

Mandy changed directions and filled a pot of water for the pasta. She had made the sauce the day before knowing she wouldn't have the time after Lissa's dance class. Over the chopping of veggies for the salad, she heard him and with each sentence, she felt herself slipping further under his spell.

Taylor Reese was all encompassing. His very presence was as big as the man himself. ****

She set the small, round tableand lit a single white candle for the center of it. It would be tight but they would all fit. The pasta was done, sauce hot, salad dressed and the garlic bread was just finishing up being toasted when she called them to eat.

Mandy served them first and then finally sat down with her plate. She noticed that they waited for her and that made her smile.

"Mommy makes the best sauce." Lissa leaned over and told Taylor.

"Wait, I forgot," Mandy jumped up from the table and opened a bottle of wine. It was one she had been saving for a special occasion, she rarely drank but with Taylor there, it felt right. Lissa had milk.

Taylor had to agree, Amanda's sauce was the best he had ever tasted and that was saying a lot being that he had been eating Italian food since he was in-utero. 

"This is really great, Amanda." He told her in between bites. He could get used to eating her sauce.

"Why do you call her Amanda, Taylor? Everyone else calls her Mandy." Lissa asked him.

"That's her name and I'm not everyone else. Is Lissa short for anything?" Taylor told her as he watched Amanda eat.

He was making her nervous, he could tell and that was a good thing. If she was nervous, that meant it mattered, he mattered. 

"No, just Lissa."

"Who are you?" Lissa's little voice shook him from his thoughts.

"What?" Taylor asked as he pulled his eyes from Amanda to look at the little girl. 

"I asked, who are you? You said you're not everyone else." Lissa asked him again and he could feel the sweat starting to bead on his neck.

He looked at Amanda and found her smirking. She knew that he was put on the spot and she was enjoying it. _Well, two can play that game_. He smirked back and said, "I'm her boyfriend." 

Amanda gasped and Lissa giggled.

"Taylor!" Mandy hissed at him and he smiled.

"What?" he shrugged and leaned back in his chair with that smirk on his face. 

"You are not my boyfriend." She told him primly. She had never had a boyfriend in her life, and she wasn't sure she wanted that to change.

"Yes he is, Mommy. He's a boy and he's your friend." Lissa added. She was completely on Taylor's side. She liked him.

"See that. I'm a boy and a friend." Taylor teased her. He loved to watch her blush and get flustered.

Mandy stood and started to clear away the dishes. "Lissa, you need to start to get ready for your shower then it's bed time." 

"But I want to stay up with Taylor." Lissa said coming dangerously close to whining. That was something Mandy couldn't stand. 

"Not tonight, it's getting late and you have school in the morning." Mandy said firmly. She and Taylor needed to talk and she didn't want Lissa there for it.

Taylor leaned over to Lissa and whispered, "You better listen to her, she's the boss."

"Some day I'll be the boss." Lissa muttered under her breath as she left the room to take her shower.

"Cute kid." Taylor said to Mandy when the little girl was out of the room.

"She's a handful. So full of questions." Mandy busied herself with the dishes and putting away the leftover food. 

"She's smart." He told her as he got up to help. 

"Too smart for her own good." Mandy said with a smile full of pride. "Stop that Taylor. Put the dishes down, I can do them." 

"You cooked." He muttered as he continued to gather up the plates. 

"You're a guest." She said as she took them back out of his hand and tried to move him away from the mess. 

He stopped and looked at her, "Am I?"

"You're here aren't you?" she questioned with a confused look on her face.

"I don't want to be a guest." He told her quietly and she realized that she was missing his point. 

Amanda just looked at him. She had no idea what he was talking about. "Then leave, I'm sure you have better stuff to do that hang out with us."

She tried to keep the hurt from her voice but it showed in her eyes.

"Damn it, Amanda, that's not what I meant. I meant…" he trailed off when Lissa came back in the room her hair wet and dressed in Dora the Explorer P.J.s and the fact he knew who Dora was shocked the shit out of him.

With Amanda, he was always tripping up but he seemed to do ok with the little one. "Hey, Peanut, you all ready for bed?" She nodded. "How about I read you a couple more pages while your Mommy finishes cleaning up?"

"Taylor, you don't have to," Mandy protested.

He just looked at her and took Lissa's hand as she pulled him toward the couch again.

Damn it to hell, she was falling for him and Lissa was already there. Lissa had only met him a few short hours ago, but the little girl was caught in his spell, Mandy had never seen it happen before.

From the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. _Shit is it really that easy to love and trust when you are young? _ She had to give herself props for making a home where Lissa could feel safe and not have to worry about the stuff she did when she was growing up.

She looked over a little while later and was shocked to see that the little girl had fallen asleep on Taylor.

Taylor got up, carried the sleeping Lissa into the bedroom and laid her down gently on her bed. He noticed that there were two single beds in the one room.

_Looks like I ain't getting any tonight, or any time soon_… he thought to himself and then realized it didn't matter. That's when he knew he was in big trouble.

Amanda stood beside him until he laid the girl down and then they both tucked Lissa's blankets tightly around her and kissed her on the forehead.

Taylor left the room first and Mandy shut the door behind her. It was only the two of them now, time to talk.

Mandy's heart was pounding as she followed Taylor back into the living room and settled onto the couch beside him. She wrung her hands together as she watched Taylor lean back and seemed to be completely relaxed and at home. This only intensified her nervousness.

"Do you want anything to drink? Or are you still hungry? I can get you something else." She asked him as she made a move to get up from the couch.

"I'm fine, baby. Come here."

_Did his voice sound deeper?_ She wondered. She shook her head no. She didn't want to, she didn't know what he wanted from her or what he expected but he had a look in his eyes that made her stomach flutter.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Amanda." He told her as he wrapped his hand around her tiny wrist and pulled her to him.

"Taylor, I…" she felt the heat of his body as he pressed her against him and she froze. Did he want her to sleep with him? She couldn't, wouldn't, do that with Lissa in the other room. Besides, she wasn't sure she wanted him in her life yet. He was too powerful a force. 

"Shh, baby. Just let me kiss you." He muttered against her lips.

"Taylor, I've never…"

"I just want to kiss you, Amanda." He told her one last time before his hand snaked around, tangled into her hair and his lips settled firmly over hers.

He started the kiss slowly, letting her get used to him. His tongue slid around her lips and with gentle pressure parted them so his tongue could slip inside her silken mouth.

He whimpered and she moaned. He kissed her deeply, pulling her tighter against him. It wasn't enough; he knew he would never get enough of this small woman. Her bright red hair and sultry dark eyes pulled him in and now he was stuck.

He broke the kiss before it got too heated. He didn't want to scare her and he knew it would be one hell of a challenge for him to stop. He knew he would have to stop. She was innocent. That he was sure of. 

Amanda blinked at him, completely dazed by his kiss. As her eyes cleared the haze that he had spun around them and she noticed that she was on his lap, straddling him. She tried to jump up but he held her there with his strong arms around her waist. She gave up, knowing it was useless and lowered her head against his shoulder.

"What do you want from me, Taylor?" She asked quietly.

Taylor felt her surrender and smiled. He ran his hand down her back and rested his cheek against her hair. His scruff had welded them together like Velcro and he thought if it was only that easy to weld her heart to his.

"I want you, Amanda."

She shook her head but didn't bother to lift it up. "I'm a package deal."

"Good, cause I love that little girl." He muttered.

She looked at him then and shook her head is disbelief. "How can you love her, Tay? You just met her."

She didn't notice that she had shortened his name but he did. She was becoming more comfortable with him whether she liked it or not.

"How could I not. She's great." 

"I don't want to play house, Taylor. I won't do that to her. My Dad left us alone when I was just a kid. He wanted a better family, a better wife, and sons instead of daughters. I won't put her through that. I can't afford to let you into our lives only to have you walk away and break us. I won't do that!"

He cocked her head and listened to her speech. When she stopped he asked, "Are you done?"

"No." She told him defiantly and fought a smirk. Why was he so easy to talk to? She was shocked at herself; sitting on his lap like some kinda floozy with her hands on his chest. And what a beautiful chest it was. She couldn't help but move her fingers and felt the budging muscles flex and release under her fingertips.

His hands were dangerously close to her ass and she didn't mind, in fact she almost wished he would more them lower. _Stop that, you just told him you don't want that… now that's all you're thinking about? _

He raised his eyebrow and moved his hands lower as if he was reading her mind. "Why are you so sure I'd leave?"

"I don't have anything to offer you, Taylor." She told him honestly and looked away.

"Are you crazy? Do you actually believe this shit that comes out of your mouth?"

"I'm not crazy!" She ground out and tried to wiggle from his lap.

He just pulled her tighter and wished his dick wasn't so damn hard, her struggling didn't help at all either. "Ok, I get it, I said something wrong and for that I'm sorry. I'm new at this shit, Amanda. I don't know what to do or say here anymore than you do."

Her laugh sounded bitter, even to her own ears. "Please, don't lie to me. You expect me to believe you're a virgin?" 

"No, I never said that."

"I am." She said hotly as her chin came up in defiance to his earlier words. He saw the hurt there and it stung, he never meant to hurt her. 

"I know." _Not for long, baby_.

She saw it in his eyes, "I'm not going to sleep with you, Taylor."

"Yes you are." He told her firmly and gave her ass a small squeeze.

"You're awfully sure of yourself aren't you?"

"Yep."

"What am I going to do with you?" She muttered and tried not to laugh.

"You can love me." He whispered back and everything stilled.

Amanda looked at him and shook her head slowly. _Love? _She didn't know how to love, not the kind he wanted. She didn't know how to let anyone close, couldn't let anyone close. She meant it when she said she had nothing to offer him. Love involved trust and she knew she could never trust a man, not after what her father did. Not after all the hateful remarks her mother made. She tried to fight it, tried not to let her mother's words affect her but she knew deep down they did.

"I don't know how." She admitted.

"You love Lissa." He told her simply.

"That's different."

"No it's not and you know it."

"God, Taylor, what do you want from me. I can't do what you ask. I don't know the first thing about trust or love. I don't trust you. I'm sitting on your lap like a slut and I'm sure when you walk out this door, you will go find someone to sleep with because I won't."

"It ain't happening."

"Maybe, maybe not, but it's what I expect. What I will convince myself you'll do."

"I don't want anyone else." He told her firmly.

"Fancy words meant to deceive me." 

"What? Fancy words from me? Woman, you have no fuckin idea what you are talking about." He saw her eyes fill with tears and he sighed, "Amanda, what did she do to you?"

"Who?"

"Your mother." 

"How do you know it was her?"

"I just know."

"Don't ask; let's just say I don't come from a happy home."

"I got that. We can make a happy home, the three of us." He told her suddenly, surprising them both. 

She blinked, "Are you listening to yourself? Taylor, we hardly know each other."

"I know it's soon, maybe too soon but I can't help what I feel." He told her as he cupped her face in his huge hands.

"Taylor, don't." She shook her head as she felt the tears start to fall.

"I'm not going away because that's what you want, because you're scared. I'm falling for you hard and fast and it's scary as hell. I'm not an easy man. I'm not a good man and I sure the hell ain't a man that talks about his _feelings_, so we're both on new ground here."

Taylor kissed her again and when she pulled away she looked him dead in the eye and said, "What do you do for a living?"

It was Taylor's turn to blink, "What?" 

"A job, what do you do?" 

"I… ah…" he stumbled and tried to think what that had to do with anything.

"That's my point. I can't have her exposed to that kind of life."

"What kind of life?" He asked her. This time when she went to get up from his lap, he let her. She knew she had hit on something then.

"Don't play dumb with me, Taylor. I know who Matty is, who his father is, who Chris's father is. I don't see how you figure into the mix, but I'm sure you're in there somewhere on the enforcement side of it." He just stared at her and that was the only confirmation she needed.

_Damn it,_ she thought. _Why did he have to be involved in that life?_ "I think you should go now, Taylor." She told him as she stood fighting back tears. She wanted him, so help her God, she wanted this man in her life.

Taylor got up and hovered over her small frame until she took a step back, then another until she found herself pressed against the door. He lowered his head slowly to give her time to move away. She didn't and that was all the incentive he needed.

He kissed her deeply and licked at her lips before he dropped his voice to a low rumble and spoke to her. "I'm gonna make you love me, Amanda."

"I don't want to love you, Taylor." 

"Too bad, I want you to love me and you will." He opened the door, let himself out and waited to hear her slide all the locks back into place.

Outside the door, he scrubbed his hands over his face, "Fuck, I think I already love you." He whispered and then walked down the hall, lost in thought.


	6. The Pain of Losing

**6 The Pain of Losing**

**Warning: Contains content of a suicide and death. It is not explicit but if you are sensitive to this, perhaps you should skip this chapter.**

Amanda closed the door and just stood there, leaning against it. What should she do now? Damn Taylor and his kisses. She wanted him and she didn't like that, not at all. She didn't want to want him. She didn't want to need him. Nonetheless, the apartment felt empty without him there and that scared her.

She went to bed and listened to the sound of Lissa breathing. Did the little girl sense something in Taylor? Something of value, something that was worth holding onto?

How could she put Lissa at risk for love? Or the possibility of love? She refused to make the same mistake her mother did and marry the wrong man. She saw the pain, the constant depression that her mother was in because she loved a man that left her alone with two kids to raise.

Would Taylor do that to her? Would he walk away, leave her alone, broken and bleeding with no one to depend on, to help? Would he turn his back on her when it got hard, on their children?

_Their children? What?_ What was she thinking? She kissed him, that's all and she's thinking children? _Does he want kids?_ She wondered. Did she?

Being a mother is all she'd ever known. She didn't know what it was like to run and laugh and play. She never had the chance. She never had a chance to step off the path and just play and be happy.

Was she happy? Could she be happy with Taylor? After Taylor?

She wasn't stupid; she knew that she couldn't keep a man like him. She was a virgin and he was… worldly. He would grow bored and leave her for someone that was more experienced, more exciting and less baggage. No, she couldn't chance it. If she were alone, maybe, but not when she had Lissa to think about.

No, she decided that she needed to break it off with Taylor Reese as soon as possible. Tomorrow before he got any surer of himself. _I'm gonna make you love me?_ What's that all about?

-

Taylor was feeling good about last night. He had dinner with Amanda and little Lissa and he felt it went really well. He really did like that little girl but he was going over and over in his head how he felt for Amanda. Did he love her? Could he love her already? He'd never loved a woman before but he figured this is what it would feel like.

Just the thought of her made him smile. The image of her sitting on his lap made him hard. He couldn't wait for lunchtime to see her again. When he arrived at _Scarpa's_ shortly after noon, it was packed.

Amanda was busy with four tables and she looked tired. He frowned, why was she so drawn looking? There were shadows under her eyes and they looked puffy, like she was crying. Was she sick? Was Lissa ok? Did he do that to her?

She glanced up and met his eyes and he felt his heart stop. She was sad. Why was she sad? Taylor settled himself in his normal booth in the back corner of the room. Chris didn't join him, which was unusual. Something was going on and he wanted to know what it was.

He watched her through the rest of her shift and wondered what her problem was. The more he watched her, the more agitated he became. Was she gonna run from him? Leave him? _Unacceptable._ He noticed that she didn't come over to him, not once. She looked a couple of times just to see if he was still there and he caught the glimpse of her discomfort. He knew that she wanted him to leave, which only made him stay that much longer.

He wasn't leaving, he wasn't going anywhere. She better get used to the idea of him, of them, fast. He thought they had somewhat of an understanding from the night before, he must have been wrong. He wasn't lying when he told her that he would make her love him.

She was fighting him again; he wouldn't let her get away from him, not now, not ever. No, when Taylor Reese decided he wanted something, or someone, he fought for it. He'd fight for her with everything he had. The harder she pushed him away, the more he'd dig his heels in. He was stronger than she was, more stubborn, his diligence would win out over hers in the end. He would have her, all of her, everything she could give, and some she couldn't.

When the dining room was cleared and clean, she disappeared. Taylor got up, went into the back room and made his way to Chris's office when she came out. She didn't even glance at him but he saw the tears on her face as he called out her name. She just kept on going as if she didn't hear him. Taylor turned and glared at Chris.

Chris shook his head and said, "It wasn't me."

"Why was she crying?" Taylor demanded. If Chris made her cry, he'd kill him. If she was crying because of him, well… he didn't know what he'd do. Again, that was just unacceptable.

"Think you should ask her that question, Tay. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you." Chris told him and then went back into his office. 

"What the fuck?" Taylor grumbled and started after her. He wanted some answers, now.

She was walking down the street toward the subway. Her head was down and her shoulders were hunched over. Where was she going? She lived the other way. Lissa? Lissa's school was in that direction. Taylor ran after her and called her name again before he grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to stop.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" Taylor asked her, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. That was the second time today he had called out to her and she had ignored him. It pissed him off. He didn't do anything wrong to deserve that. He was doing everything he could to make her happy. To take it slowly with them, for her and she blows him off and disregards him. It hurt more than he cared to admit, even to himself.

"Just go away, Taylor. I can't deal with you right now." She told him, her voice quivering.

"Well that's too damn bad 'cause you're gonna have to deal with me." He growled at her; he didn't care if they were in the middle of the street. He wanted answers. 

"I can't. I have to go and get Lissa." Her eyes filled with tears again and Taylor felt his heart constrict. Yeah, he was in love; seeing a woman cry never bothered him before. He had seen many women cry and beg him to stay but this small woman destroyed him with a few silent tears. 

"What's wrong with Lissa?" Taylor asked mildly panicked. "Is she ok? Is she sick? Get in the van, I'll drive." He said, not giving her a chance as he dragged her over to his van and shoved her in before she could protest any further.

"Lissa's fine, Taylor." She told him softly.

"You better tell me what's wrong, Amanda, 'cause you're starting to piss me off." He told her after he got in and slammed his door. She had his emotions all over the place and he didn't like that. Not at all. He was always so in control, but not with her.

He was sure that she wouldn't answer him so he stared at her. He knew how intimating it would feel and she would cave; besides he wasn't starting the van until she started talking. "What is it? You better just tell me 'cause I'll get it out of you one way or another."

"Taylor…," Amanda's voice broke.

He softened his tone and pulled her to him. "What is it, baby? Tell me, I just want to help. You're breaking my heart." Taylor cooed to her and felt her starting to shake.

"It's my Mother, Taylor. She killed herself." She told him with a small sniff.

"What?" He asked, blinking at her. He was sure he heard her wrong.

"I got the call as soon as I got to work. She… she took a bunch of pills…her depression meds, some pain meds… she's dead. She was only thirty-eight." Amanda told him then tried to clear the lump in her throat. She had always, stupidly, held out hope that one day her mom would snap out of it and become a real Mother, perhaps a good grandmother. 

"She was so young." 

"Yeah, she had me when she was eighteen…" Amanda said as she felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "Damn it," she snapped at herself, wiping tears from her eyes. She told herself that she wouldn't cry over her mother. She had never treated her well, never really showed her any kind of love, none which Amanda could remember.

"I won't cry for her, I don't want to cry for her, Taylor. She doesn't deserve it. She treated me like shit, why am I so sad?" Amanda asked him, looking him straight in the eyes. His chocolate gaze held hers and made her feel better, stronger. "I have to go and identify her… down at the morgue."

"Were you going to take Lissa?" He asked her quietly. 

"I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't have the money for the burial, the state is gonna have to pick that up. I don't even know if she deserves better than that. Oh my God, what kind of daughter am I? I don't want to do this, Taylor. I don't want to see her again, not alive and not dead. She's gone…she left me a long time ago. My mother has been dead for years."

Taylor kissed her gently and held her face in his hands. "Amanda…look at me. You don't have to do this alone. I'm here, I want to help you, let me help you."

"There's nothing you can do, Taylor." She said as she put her hands over his and tried to smile at him weakly.

"I can be here for you; will you let me do that?" He asked her placing little butterfly kisses on her brow. 

"I don't know, Taylor… I'm so confused." She turned and looked out the side window. "I'm scared," she admitted. "I'm scared of you, of you leaving. I'm scared of my feelings for you. I'm scared for Lissa, and now this… I can't deal with all of this at once. I just can't…. I don't have the strength… I don't have anything left to give you, Taylor." She muttered as she sat back down in her seat and looked straight out the windshield.

Taylor looked at her for a few moments before he started his van and swung it toward the county morgue. Lissa didn't need to see that. They could pick her up after, there would be enough time.

Amanda didn't speak again until he parked. She blinked, turned and looked at him. "Taylor, where are we?"

"You said you had to identify…"

She sighed, "Yeah," Then started to get out of the van. He fell in step beside her, "Where are you going?" 

"With you,"

"Taylor,"

"Just for once, Amanda, shut up and let me do this for you. Just for once don't fuckin' fight me," he told her sternly.

"Ok,"

He grabbed her hand and opened the door for her. Taylor knew the way through the morgue, which was kind of disconcerting to her but she didn't care at that point. She was glad he came. The feel of his large hand, warm and solid in her tiny one made her feel better, stronger. She never wanted to be a woman that needed a man to make her feel better but right then, she needed him. She would obsess over it later.

They came to a small window and a man asked, "Can I help you?" 

Taylor spoke for her. "Yeah, we've come to identify someone."

"Ok, who?" The man asked as he typed on a computer.

Mandy cleared her throat, "Um, Jennifer Johnson."

"Are you a relation?" he asked. 

"Yes, I'm her daughter, Mandy," she told him. He nodded and then jerked his chin toward Taylor. "He's with me," she told him simply. She didn't have the words to explain what Taylor was to her.

He told them to make two lefts and they would find the morgue. Once they got there, they were to tell the coroner who they were there to see. Taylor knew the drill. He led her back, his hand on the small of her back. He could feel her trembling and he was sure it wasn't because of the cool air conditioning.

The coroner led them over to a row of stainless steel lockers and pulled one out. He pulled back the sheet covering the body and Mandy went numb.

"That's her." She told him, never blinking. "She looks happy… for once." She turned and looked at Taylor. "I could never make her happy."

"It wasn't you baby. She can't hurt you anymore. She's gone." Taylor nodded at the man and then steered Amanda out and into the relatively warm outside air.

Once they were outside he pulled her too him and held her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. He knew that she was upset, hurting even though she vowed not to be. She claimed that she didn't care, but he knew better. He would be there for her, because she needed him to be, she just didn't know it yet.

"Come on, lets go get Lissa." He told her then kissed her gently on the lips. "Hey, you ok?" he asked her before he opened the car door for her to get in.

"Yeah, I am." She rested her head on his chest for another brief moment before she sighed, "Thank you, Taylor."

The words meant more to him that he thought they would. He wanted to be there for her and he would've been whether she liked it or not. But to hear her thank him for helping her, it gave him hope.

He drove over to Lissa's school and they rode in silence. Each lost in their own thoughts. Taylor's were all about her but hers were scattered and confused. It was a mix of him, her mother, fear, anger, her love for Lissa and her need to protect the little girl.

How could she choose Taylor and protect Lissa? How could she not choose Taylor and protect herself? She was falling for him; she realized that now… he was all she had other than Lissa… all that mattered. How did that happen? How did he worm his way into her heart?

Just that morning she was going to break it off with him and now she was stuck to him more than ever. Mandy turned and looked at him and felt her heart jump. He didn't look at her but reached out, took her hand and squeezed.

"It'll be ok, Amanda. I'll make sure it's ok." He told her.

"I know, Taylor. That's what worries me,"

He went inside with her to pick up Lissa. The little girl was so excited to see him again that she gave him a big hug. They took her for ice cream and told her what happened to her 'real' mother and she crawled into Taylor's lap and snuggled with him.

The trust and love that Lissa showed him was nearly his undoing. If only he could get Amanda to feel that way about him. He loved the little girl in his arms, purely, as if she were his own. The thought shook him, deeply. He never really thought about children, but with her in his arms, he longed for more. He knew he needed to have Lissa in his life as much as he needs Amanda. He wasn't going to let either of them go, never.

"Taylor," Lissa whispered. "Will you help me keep Mom from being sad? We're all she's got."

He looked over at Amanda and saw tears running down her face. He hugged Lissa back and said, "I'll do everything I can to make her happy, peanut." Taylor grabbed Amanda and pulled her to him and hugged her too with little Lissa between them. His two girls, he knew he loved them both with everything he had.


	7. Stop Fighting Me

**7 Stop Fighting Me**

That night, Taylor and Amanda dropped Lissa off at her friend Samantha's house for a sleep over. Amanda wasn't very happy about it, she felt that Lissa should be home in case she became scared or wanted to talk.

Lissa assured her she was fine and Taylor told Amanda that it would be good for Lissa to be with friends. He also told Amanda it would do her well to have some adult time. She wasn't sure what he meant by that but she was nervous that he would want to take their relationship to the next level. She wasn't ready for that yet. At least she didn't think she was.

"Let me take you out to dinner, Amanda," He muttered against her lips when she got back in his van from seeing Lissa in to Sam's.

"I'm not really in a going out kind of mood, Taylor." She told him after a quick, hot kiss. She had so much stuff to do. She needed to figure out how to pay for the burial and then clean out her mother's apartment. She briefly thought about taking over the rent and moving there but realized that she loathed that place. It wasn't her home and she didn't want to subject Lissa to the hate and depression that impregnated the walls.

"Fine, then we'll get something and go back to my place," he suggested.

He wanted her there. He always wanted to ask her over but knew she would turn him down. Maybe with Lissa at her friends and after the day's events she would be more open to it. He hated trying to take advantage of the situation but he needed to take her home. As if the action alone could cement her to him.

He wanted her scent in his house, in his bed, but he knew not to push that yet. She was still skittish and he didn't want her to start running again. "Amanda, please. Come home with me," Taylor implored her.

How could she turn him down when he asked like that? He couldn't use that voice on her and not get what he wanted. He knew it too.

"Taylor," she muttered and then gasped in suprise when he leaned in and kissed her deeply.

He looked into her eyes and said, "You're coming home with me and I'm going to feed you. Stop fighting me, Amanda. You won't win."

"Taylor, I'm not ready for this," she told him. She wasn't. She didn't know what to do about him. How to handle him and what if he wanted sex? She didn't know how to do any of that, how to please him. He'd laugh at her. Maybe if he saw how incompetent she is, he'd walk now and spare her the pain of it later.

Taylor grabbed her by the arms and gave her a little shake. "Stop it. Just stop thinking like that, Amanda. I can read you like a book. I'm not asking you over to take advantage of you. I'm not going to walk away because you want me to. I ain't going anywhere. Damn it, when will you realize that?" He released her and started his van.

He pulled out and drove in silence but she could tell he was pissed off at her, and she could tell she was on his way to his place. Amanda turned and looked out her side window and bounced her head off of it a few times, sharply. The pain helped clear away the confusion and he cursed again and pulled her close to him as he drove.

Amanda could feel the anger radiating off of him, and the hurt. She hurt him. How? She didn't mean to or want to hurt him. He had been so caring today, so helpful. She hated her weakness and fear. She hated her mother for making her the way she is. She hated the fact that she couldn't or maybe it was, wouldn't change. She needed to change. Amanda didn't want to end up dead at thirty-eight by her own hand because living was just too damn hard. No. she wouldn't do that.

She took a deep breath and melted into Taylor. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm not very good at this, Taylor. No one has ever really showed me any attention and the ones that have were slime balls. All I can tell you is that I'll try,"

"That's good enough for me. For now." Taylor parked and hurried around the other side to help her out.

Amanda stood in front of a medium sized, three-story house and sighed. "Is this yours?" She muttered, completely blown away by the size of it. She expected an apartment, maybe a small row house but nothing like this.

"Yeah, it was my parent's house…" He watched her, greatly please at her reaction to his place. It was a pretty nice neighborhood and he had a decent size yard where Lissa could play. The school was safe and highly rated. He was shocked at how much he wanted that for her, for them. At how much he wanted to share his life, his house with them.

Amanda blinked and felt sick to her stomach. His place was beautiful and she was stuck living in a shit hole. She had him over to her shit hole of an apartment. Did he laugh at her when he left? She didn't think so but she hoped he didn't see her as a charity case.

"I haven't used most of the space since they died. Come on," he said and grabbed her hand. "Let's get some dinner."

He led her into his house and she looked around and took a deep breath. It smelled like him but that is where the similarities ended. The kitchen was painted a light yellow with white trim. It was airy and feminine with soft lace curtains and matching tablecloth. She hoped his mother did that because she didn't want to hunt down some bitch that was responsible for it.

Her thoughts shocked her. She had never felt jealousy over a man before but the thought of other women in Taylor's life enraged her. Again, something else to obsess over later.

His living room was done in large, black leather chairs and sofas. He had a huge flat-screen TV hung on the wall and black and white vintage photos of the city and what she would guess to be Italy on the wall. The only color in the room was a deep red that wound its way here and there. 

This she could see being him. His tastes. It was the complete opposite of the kitchen. The other rooms reflected different tastes as well and she could tell which ones he was responsible for and which was his parents.

"Your house is beautiful, Taylor." She said with a smile when he handed her a glass of wine.

"Thanks," he muttered happily as he looked around. He could see her there with him. Lissa running through with her friends, making noise. Laughing and carrying on about boys. That brought him up short. No fuckin' way. He growled without realized it. No way is a pimply face little fuck getting his hands on Lissa. No fuckin' way.

"Taylor?" Amanda's voice broke him out of his musing and he laughed at himself. "Are you ok?" she asked, setting down her glass and walking over to him.

He looked at her, shook his head and took a deep breath. He was fighting the words. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so badly but he was scared. Taylor Reese scared of a tiny woman standing in his house, looking at him like he was just a little bit crazy. Maybe he was. He had to be, it was the only explanation.

"Damn it Amanda, you can't look at me that way." He said, taking a step toward her.

_What was he talking about? What way was she looking at him_, "What way, Taylor?"

"Like I'm crazy. Like I scare you,"

"You do." She smiled and tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Fuck, and don't do that," he muttered standing right in front of her now.

"Do what?"

"Look all innocent and sexy. Amanda," he sighed, "When will you let yourself love me?" 

"I told you Taylor, I don't know how." She said and tried to move away from him.

He stopped her with a hand on the small of her back, "Yes you do. I see it in your eyes when you look at me."

"Thought you said that was fear?" 

"Fear, love. Almost the same thing." He whispered as he licked his lips and lowered his head to hers.

"Not quite," she breathed as he lowered his lips to hers.

His lips brushed over hers, just a teasing stroke and she shuttered, "Taylor, what are you doing?" she asked. She was scared, though she knew he wouldn't physically hurt her but she was also starting to realize that she couldn't deny him anything. She'd give him whatever he wanted just to see him smile and watch his eyes turn to molten chocolate.

"I love you, Amanda," he whispered, surprising them both.

"Taylor, don't. Don't tease me; please don't say that to me." Her voice held panic when she spoke, and hope.

He didn't release her, "I'm not teasing you. I love you, Amanda. I want to make love to you. I want you in my house, in my bed. I want Lissa here."

"Stop," She cried and tried to squirm away.

"No, stop fighting me, fighting us or this. I want you so bad," he told her before he kissed her deeply and scattered her thoughts.

"Stop, Taylor please. I can't give you what you want." She told him as she felt herself pressed up against the kitchen counter. She was almost in full state of panic now. It wasn't really fear that had scared her it was the absence of it that frightened her. She wanted him, wanted this.

If she gave in now, she would never get away, she knew it. As it was, she wasn't sure she could leave him now. Could she let herself go, let herself fall for him all the way? Yes. But it didn't change what he did, who he was.

"Taylor," she said on a shuttering breath as he nibbled on her neck. "What about Lissa?"

"She can move in too. I love her as much as I do you." Taylor replied absently, completely absorbed in his meanderings.

"I need her to be safe, Taylor, she," Amanda trailed off on a gasp and then pushed him away again; well she tried to at least.

He looked up at her with annoyance. "What is the matter?" he ground out. "I'll keep her safe. No one will ever hurt her, either of you."

"And what about your work, Taylor? What about that?" Amanda asked, scared out of her mind. This was it. Did he love them enough to change? 

"Fuck! How can you think about this shit now?"

"It's all I think about, Taylor. I need to know she will be safe before I take one more step with you. You're a dangerous man. Your work,"

"Has nothing to do with her!" he snapped.

"Is that what you think? Is that what Matty or Chris felt when they were growing up? What about you? Where are your parents, Taylor? What happened to them?"

He turned away from her and yelled out in frustration, "Damn it woman. How can you come in to my life and fuck it all up."

"I didn't come into your life, you forced your way into mine. I've been fighting against it every step of the way but you keep pushing and pushing. You want me? You want her? You need to prove it. I will NOT explain to her some day that you're dead because some mob related bullshit! Do you hear me? I will NOT do that to her! I won't do it to myself. You want all of me, well damn it, I want the same from you!" She told him defiantly, standing her ground. There was no give here with this.

Taylor took a deep breath, "I don't know how to do anything else, Amanda. I got nothing else."

"You're full of shit!"

"How would you know?" he yelled at her, "You don't have a fucking clue what it was like growing up. What I did for Benny how I become who I am today."

"Exactly, Taylor. That's what scares me, can't you see that? I want Lissa to have a chance at a good life, somewhere far from the violence and death everyday. Our entire life has been spent in a shitty, run down one bedroom apartment. Hardly being able to buy food and clothes. I want more for her,"

"So do I,"

"I want more for you too, Taylor." She stomped her foot, "Damn it," she muttered as tears pricked her eyes. "What did you have to do this to me? I was content alone and now…,"

"You love me," he said with a smile and took another step toward her.

She shook her head no and he laughed, "Yes you do. Say it. Say the words,"

"No," Amanda refused to voice them without a fight. Once they were said there was no way to take them back. No way to deny them any longer. They would be real.

Taylor raised an eyebrow and closed the distance between them, "Is that a challenge? You want me to force them out of you?" he asked seductively.

"They wouldn't be much good then, would they?" was her reply.

He growled, knowing she had a point but fuck he needed to hear those words from her. "Please, baby, tell me you love me… even if it's a lie,"

Amanda grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes, "It's not a lie, Taylor."

He looked at her, "Then say it,"

"Damn you, Taylor." She hissed.

"Not the three words I was going for," he said, making them both laugh. "It doesn't hurt that bad. I said them to you. First time ever."

She pulled back and looked at him, "really?"

He smiled, oh yeah; he had her now, "Really. I never said them to anyone but my parents. Well maybe Matty, but you get the idea. I've never loved anyone before either, Amanda. Only you. Tell me you feel the same? I need to know. You're heart isn't the only one at risk here. I don't know what I'd do if you walked away from me." He told her honestly. He would be empty inside. He may not have known her that long but he loved her completely.

"You're killing me," She muttered, took a deep breath and said what he was longing to hear, "I love you, Taylor."

He let himself go, totally giving her all of him as he kissed her deep. His heart pounded, his cock twitched and his head felt dizzy. "I love you too, Amanda. Now let me show you how much," he whispered as he picked her up and carried her upstairs.


	8. Her First

**8 Her First**

Taylor carried Amanda upstairs to his bedroom and laid her down gently onto the bed. Just having her there, seeing her made him so hard it hurt. He had never wanted anyone so badly in his life. He had never made love to a woman before, not like this. It was like his first time all over again.

He was nervous. The thought almost made him laugh. He wanted to please her but he was so afraid of hurting her. She was so tiny and he knew he was larger than the average man. Nine inches of thick, hard marble straining to fit in that tiny little body. He didn't think it would, but he was damn sure he was going try.

"Taylor," she breathed and looked up at him with eyes full of fear and love.

"Baby," he muttered and noticed his hands were shaking. "I'm not going to hurt you," he told her has he crawled on top of her, still fully dressed. "God, you're so beautiful." He told her as he kissed her deeply.

His hand trailed up and rested on her flat tummy. _So small_, he thought, _so perfect_. He pulled her shirt off and marveled at her creamy skin. She was so soft and smooth, so delicious.

His mouth lowered to her nipple, sucking strongly through the lace that covered it and she cried out and arched her back into his moist mouth. Taylor took that as a good sign and moved his hand over to her other breast to pinch and tease the nipple with his finger and thumb.

After a few moments, he pulled back, kissed her and removed his shirt. Amanda watched him and then let her eyes roam over his large, muscled chest. She was shocked at how large he truly was. It turned her on and scared her in equal parts. Everything about the man was large, and she was sure he was large down there as well.

She tried to swallow her fear. She knew she couldn't remain a virgin forever and she wanted Taylor to change that, no one else, but she was scared. She just didn't know much about this. She never had a mother she could talk to about it and the old lady that watched Lissa was just too embarrassing to think about talking to. She didn't really have any girlfriends so all she knew was what she read and learned about in school. Written word and real experiences are so different.

Taylor's hands were gentle, his mouth moist and hot. He wasn't pushing her into doing this, but he was making it clear it was what he wanted. He knew she was innocent and scared but he was ready to die if he didn't have her soon. So he kissed her and touched her trying to make her comfortable and relax.

He muttered against her skin, her lips. Sweet words of love and promises to take care of her and Lissa. He was slowly, completely wrapping her up in his spell and he could feel her beginning to melt in his arms. Her hands explored his back now, fingers tracing muscles and nails pricking skin.

Taylor slid his hand down her stomach, popped the top of her jeans and slid his hand down over top of her panties. She sucked in a wild, nervous breath.

"You ok, baby?" he asked as he pulled back and looked into her eyes. Her face was flushed and her red hair spread out around her head like silk. She was beautiful.

Amanda nodded and tried to smile, "I'm scared, Taylor."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Amanda," 

"I know…I know," she muttered as she leaned up and kissed him again, pulling his head close with her hands.

"You sure about this?" He asked her before he went any further. He wasn't sure he could stop soon, he would but it would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

Amanda took a deep breath before she spoke, "Yes, Taylor. I want to make love to you. Everything else can wait. I need this, I need you."

That was all the encouragement he needed. He leaned down and kissed her again, but this time it was hot and just a little bit desperate. He inched his fingers into the top of her panties and felt the crisp, damp curls. He growled and slid his hand further in so he could touch her and see if she was wet and enjoying this like she said she was.

Taylor's fingers slid down to her slit and were instantly coated in her hot juices. Amanda gasped and looked at him, her eyes wide with shock and wonder as he brushed her clit. 

Taylor smiled, "Just wait till I'm done with you, baby. This is nothing compared to how I'm gonna make you feel."

"Taylor," she choked out as he rubbed her swollen clit with his middle finger. She was burning up, if felt like little shock waves were shooting through her every time he moved his finger. 

Taylor felt her starting to tense and saw a look of panic take over her face. Had she never had an orgasm before? She had never touched herself? Of course not, she shared a bedroom with a little girl. The thought of giving her her first orgasm was almost more than Taylor could bear and he almost embarrassed himself. His lack of control amused him somewhat.

She was pushing at his arm now, trying to get him away from her. "Stop, baby. Just let go." She looked up at him, her eyes wild with a mix of fear and wonderment at the sensations swamping her body. "That's it, baby. Cum for me. Just let go, Amanda, I'll catch you."

She let go. There really wasn't a choice in the matter. Taylor was touching her in a way that should have embarrassed her but she was flying at the sensation and pleasure he was giving her. She would have never thought it could feel like this. She never really thought about it at all. All she knew was a man got an erection and put it inside you. He moved and came and that was that. That's how babies were made. The rest of the thoughts scattered as she arched up and shattered in his arms.

Taylor watched Amanda come for him. Her skin flushed red; the tips of her nipples darkened as she cried out, gasped his name and flew over the edge. Taylor figured it was the most beautiful and erotic thing he had ever seen. Amanda's first orgasm.

She was breathing heavy as she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. Her brown eyes were full of wonder and just a hint of something else. That something else had Taylor shivering and thinking that she was going to turn into a hellion in the sack.

He kissed her again and asked; "Did you like that?" the smug smirk on his face was not lost on her.

Amanda stretched and nodded, "hum," She would have told him _yes, oh god yes that was the greatest thing in her life to date,_ but his little smirk set her off. She locked eyes with him and said with a straight face, "Is that it?"

Taylor blinked at her a few times as his smirk fell away slowly, "What?" he asked her, not quite understanding what she was saying.

"Is that all there is? What's the big deal?" she teased him.

"_What's the big deal? Is that all there is?"_ he sat up and looked at her, completely floored she would say that to him and if he admitted it, he was hurt too. He just gave her, what he knew was, a fantastic first orgasm and she asked if _that's all there is?_ Taylor scowled at her and then cocked his head to the side. She was fighting a smile. He could see it tugging at the corners of her mouth. He let out a breath and shook his head. "Little wench,"

Amanda broke down into a fit of giggles and pulled him back down to her, raining kisses all over his face. "God, Taylor that was amazing. You had this smug little smirk, I couldn't let you get away with that,"

"You're gonna pay for that, Amanda. You had me working up a pretty good pissed off,"

She stopped laughing and looked at him, "I'm sorry, Tay. I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just teasing." 

"I know," he said as he nibbled on her collarbone, "now. You're so fuckin' sexy, Amanda. I can't wait to be inside of you." He told her as he renewed his perusing of her. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his back. His hand roamed over her, touching, reigniting fires. 

Taylor pulled her bra off and was certain that he had never seen such perfect breasts. He always liked large ones but Amanda's small, firm globes had his mouth watering for a taste. So he feasted. She cried out and begged him to stop and begged his to continue in equal terms.

He pressed his throbbing cock against the bed to try to relive some of the pressure in it, it didn't help. His jeans were too tight and he was too swollen with need for anything but true release to help. Taylor sat up between her legs and began to slide her jeans down her hips.

A sharp, shrilly ring split the air. Taylor looked at her and blinked, "What the fuck was that?" He heard it again and swung his head to the left and then the right. "What the fuck _is_ that?"

He felt Amanda's hands pushing at his chest and arms. "Taylor, get off."

"I'm trying,"

"No, get off me. Let me up. My cell phone." Amanda said as she scrambled up off the bed and did a quick look around for her bra, shrugged and ran out of the room. 

"Didn't know you had a cell phone," he called after her.

"Prepaid. Only for Lissa." She yelled back as she ran downstairs and grabbed her purse from the table.

"Hello, Lissa? Are you ok?" She asked quickly. "Yeah, we'll be right there. Thanks, Dana." Amanda turned and looked at Taylor who was standing on the stairs watching her. "That was Samantha's mom. Lissa's upset and wants to come home. We have to go get Lissa." She ran back upstairs, "Shit! I knew it was a bad idea to leave her there. Shit. What happened, Taylor? Why is she upset?" Amanda asked him as she dressed. She turned and looked at him and sighed, "Taylor, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Amanda. Lissa comes first. I know that. She's upset and wants to come home. So let's go and get her, ok?" He said, holding out his hand to her. _Fuck_. He was still hard as hell and hurting with it.

Amanda looked at him, closed the distance between them, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. She pulled back and cupped his face in her hands and said, "Thank you, Taylor for understanding. Thank you for everything you have done for me, for us these last few weeks."

Taylor felt himself melt just a little bit at her words. He kissed her tenderly and said, "You're welcome. I love you, Amanda."

"I love you too, Taylor."

"Now, lets to get Lissa." He said, taking Amanda by the arm and leading her down the stairs.


	9. Lissa

**9****Lissa**

Taylor pulled up to Samantha's house and scowled. What could have upset Lissa so badly that she called and said she wanted to come home? She had been so excited about staying at her friend Sam's house and just getting away. Taylor had an idea that Lissa felt that Amanda and Taylor needed alone time but he didn't even what to think about that right now. The girl was too young to understand that kind of thing. He hoped.

Amanda had been quiet and nervous the whole way there and didn't speak but a few words to him. Taylor's body still burned with need for her and his jeans were uncomfortable around his semi-hard-on. He was sure he would have the worse case of blue-balls ever. The thought almost made him groan.

Amanda jumped out of Taylor's van and all but ran to the door and knocked. Taylor took a more leisurely pace and saw the man that lived next door to Samantha. He recognized him. Taylor nodded and muttered, "Hey Tony."

Tony nodded back and said, "Taylor." Tony looked somewhat nervous and then made his way back into his own home. Taylor didn't think anything of it. Most people he 'knew' as Benny's muscle were nervous around him, and then seeing him in the neighborhood didn't usually bode well. Most of the time when Taylor showed up at a mob man's house was for one of two things. Money or death. Tony knew he didn't owe anyone money and he knew for a fact that Samantha's parents had no contact with the mob. Tony hurried inside and hoped that whatever Taylor was doing next door had nothing to do with him or his family.

Samantha's mom, Jane, answered the door and smiled weakly at Amanda. "Hi. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. She was having fun and laughing. The girls were in the backyard and then Lissa came in crying and saying she wanted to go home. She said she wanted to call you and have Taylor come get her." Jane told Amanda.

Lissa came running toward them, her little face still streaked with tears. Taylor felt his heart clench at the sight of them and both he and Amanda kneeled down and pulled her in a hug.

"Lissa, baby what happened?" Amanda probed. "You were so excited to come over,"

Lissa looked at Amanda and cried, "You're my Mommy. Not Jennifer. She's dead and she never wanted me. It's not my fault she took those pills!"

"Of course not, Lissa. It's not your fault, why would you even think that? I love you and Jennifer loved you in her own way. She was just sick sweetie; she didn't know how to love anymore. Not the right way." Amanda told Lissa as she held her and felt her little body shaking with sobs.

"Who said this to you?" Taylor asked. He knew someone must have given Lissa the idea that it was her fault that Jennifer did what she did. Lissa would have never thought that and there was no way that Amanda would have ever suggested something so horrible to the little girl.

"Robby next door, he said my mom's a…," Lissa looked at Taylor and Amanda and swallowed before she spoke again, "a… skank. He said you were too young to be my Mommy. I told him you were really my sister and I lived with you because Jennifer was sick and now she's dead." Lissa sniffed. "He said maybe she killed herself cause she couldn't love me because I'm so ugly with my red hair and so small." "Hey, you are not ugly Lissa, you are beautiful. And I'm small too, we're just small people." Amanda told Lissa, trying to make her feel better. "Taylor's not small." Lissa said and looked at him. His face was tight with anger and his fists were clenched in rage. How could someone be so mean to a small child, he'd never understand it. Lissa was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled when she laughed and her hair, so much like Amanda's, was something that dreams were made of.

He looked at Amanda and said; "Stay here," Taylor got up and started walking toward the house next door. Tony's house.

"Taylor," Amanda called after him but he didn't answer. His shoulders were stiff and his hands were clenched into tight fists. Jane gasped when she saw where he was going and Amanda picked up Lissa and started to push her way into Samantha's house. She didn't want Lissa to see what Taylor was going to do because she didn't know what he was going to do. Was he going to kill him? Beat the heck out of him?

Taylor pounded on Tony's door and he opened it a crack. "Taylor?" he said.

"Open the door, Tony," Taylor growled. "No. I got nothing to say to you." Tony told Taylor and tried to close the door in his face. "No you don't but that little fuckin' punk you call a son has something to say to Lissa." Taylor said menacingly.

"Leave or I'll call the cops, Taylor." Tony said, trying to sound tough but he was scared shitless for his son, who was too stupid to know what kind of trouble he was really in at the moment.

"I'll talk to him, Dad," Robby the punk said sounding cocky.

Tony turned and hissed at him, "You've done enough talking already."

When Tony's head was turned, Taylor pushed the door open, grabbed Robby but the shoulder where it met his neck and pulled him outside. "You will apologize to my daughter,"

"You don't have a daughter," Tony said with confusion, trying to defend his son. "I will soon. That little girl you were picking on, Lissa. Her sister and I are together and that makes her under my protection. Amanda is the only mother she's ever known. You called my woman a skank and for that alone I could kill you but I won't cause you're just a fucking punk and I don't want them to see that. So, I strongly suggest that when you say you are sorry, you mean it." Taylor told Robby as he led him over to Samantha's house.

Amanda blocked the entrance and Lissa from them. "Lissa," Taylor called, "Robby here has something to say to you, don't you Robby?"

"Yeah, sorry," Robby said halfheartedly. Taylor's grip tightened on the fifteen year old boy's shoulder and he cried out.

"What was that, Robby? I didn't hear you right." Taylor growled at him. Tony was behind them both, standing silent and praying his son just did what Taylor asked so he would leave before things got more out of hand. "I'm sorry Lissa. You're not ugly. I like your red hair and Amanda's nice for taking care of you. It's not your fault your real mom's dead, Lissa. I'm sorry." Robby said, almost crying. Taylor suppressed the urge to smile. He didn't like to scare kids but this kid had hurt Lissa and that was unacceptable.

Lissa nodded solemnly and sounded entirely too grown up when she spoke, "Ok, Robby. I accept your apology. I think you should think before you speak from now on."

"Oh he will, won't you Robby?" Tony said after he retrieved his son from Taylor's death grip. "Sorry about all of this, Taylor. It won't happen again." "See that it doesn't. That kid of yours has more balls that brains." Taylor told Tony and then dismissed them, turning his back. He looked down at Lissa and smiled, "Hey, Peanut, you ok?"Lissa smiled, "You scared the crap out of Robby, Taylor.""Yeah well, he hurt you." Taylor said and then noticed Amanda's discomfort. Taylor took a deep breath and said something that went totally against everything he grew up believing. "You should always try to solve problems without violence, Lissa. It's never a good thing to hurt someone just because you can. You understand me?" Lissa nodded at him, looked up and Amanda and smiled. "Robby's Dad was scared of you too,"

"Lissa," Amanda hissed.

"Everyone's scared of me, Kid. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's effective when need be. I don't want that for you, baby. You're smart, Lissa, use your head, not your fists." Taylor told Lissa as he led her to his van and opened the door for her.

Amanda had thanked Jane for everything and apologized for the trouble. Jane nodded weakly and cut her eyes over to Taylor. He scared her, but he seemed gentle with Amanda and Lissa and somehow knew he would never hurt either of them. It was everyone else she was worried about.

Lissa looked at Amanda and then at Taylor before she spoke, "You love her don't you Taylor?" Taylor looked down at the small child that was too wise for her years. "Yes I do. I love you both."

Lissa nodded, looking suddenly shy, "Are you going to be my Daddy?"

"Is that what you want?" Taylor asked her as his heart began to race. Lissa nodded and he smiled. Taylor lowered his voice and whispered, "Now, how are we going to convince Mommy of that?"

"Are you gonna ask her to marry you?" Lissa asked.

Taylor glanced up and watched Amanda walking toward them. Their eyes met and he spoke softly. "I'm thinking about it."Lissa squealed, wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered, "I love you, Daddy."

Amanda heard her and met Taylor's eyes and blinked. He grinned and ran his hand over Lissa's hair. "I love you too, Peanut." He said, never breaking eye contact with Amanda.


	10. Bullets and Bells

10

Jennifer Johnson was cremated and Taylor, Lissa and Amanda spread her ashes at Long Island. She had always loved it there and said she felt free. Jennifer was originally from that area so it was sort of like coming home, for her. Neither one of the girls cried and Taylor was eternally grateful for that.

Afterward, he took them out to dinner and wanted them to sleep over at his house but Amanda wouldn't have it. Lissa had school in the morning and besides, she didn't want the little girl to get the wrong idea. Taylor wasn't sure what the 'wrong idea' was per say but he assumed it meant that Amanda didn't want to have 'THE' talk with her yet. That amused Taylor. It's kind of hard to have _the_ talk when you've never done _the_ deed. He planned on changing that, and soon, or he was sure his balls would explode.

He had never wanted a woman as bad as he wanted Amanda. Her small uncertain touches and smoldering kisses promised she'd be fiery in the bed. If he ever got her there. He groaned and pushed down his growing erection. It only served to make it worse. Taylor wanted to cry. Like a chump, he had given in and let Amanda and Lissa stay at their place.

"Fuck, I'm so hard it hurts," he said to the empty house. He had called Amanda once to make sure they were settled in for the night. He hated the neighborhood she lived in and he wanted them out soon.

It didn't matter to him that they'd been living there for years before he met them, he knew them now and he wanted them out.

Once again, he pushed at the tight fabric of his jeans and hissed at the contact of his hand. _Fuck it_, he thought to himself as he unzipped the material and took himself into his hand. He needed relief, one way or another. Since Amanda wasn't there, this was the only way he was going to get it.

He pictured her in his mind, spread across his bed. Her red hair was a fiery halo around her head. He groaned and stroked. Her small perfect breasts, just barely large enough to fit in the palm of his hand. He hissed and twisted. Her brown eyes, warm and loving, looking up at him with innocence and passion. He gripped and came.

-

Amanda was working at _Scarpa's_ when Taylor burst in with a look of panic on his face. The entire dining area feel silent as Taylor and Amanda's eyes met.

"What?" she found herself asking from across the room. Her hand tightened to a white knuckled grip on the glass water pitcher she was holding. "Taylor, what's wrong with Lissa?"

He didn't answer her right away just strode toward her and peeled her fingers off the handle.

"What's wrong with Lissa? Tell me, damn you! Where's my daughter!" Amanda was one second away from hysteria and he took a breath and explained.

"There was a shooting at her school." There was a collective gasp that went though the room.

"What school?" Someone asked as everyone started to take out there cell phones and check on their own kids.

"Malcolm Elementary," Taylor said absently. "I, Amanda, the news said that only one student was shot and they believed it was outside of the building and a male but when I tried to get her, they wouldn't let me in." 

"You tried to get her?" Amanda asked numbly.

"I was in the area," he told her. He was checking up on Robby, truth be told, but he left that bit of info out. "I heard the shots. Two. Low caliber, probably a .22." he relayed as he led her out of the restaurant and to his van. On the way out the door, he caught Chris's eye and they nodded at each other.

"Oh my God, Taylor," Amanda was ghost white with fear. She would die if anything happened to Lissa. She was like her own daughter. She may not have given birth to her, but Amanda was the only real mother she'd ever known.

"She's ok, baby. She'll be scared and she's gonna need us. Fuck!" Taylor punched the steering wheel. How much more was that little girl going to have to take? Amanda too? This was it. There was no way in hell that Lissa was going back to that shit hole of a school. He didn't care what he had to do to convince Amanda to move in with him. He was done playing Mr. Easy–Go-Lucky. It was time to lay down the law. He was going to keep his girls safe and that was that.

Taylor stopped the van in the middle of the road and turned to Amanda. He knew it was the most ridiculous time to ask but he couldn't stop himself. "Amanda, marry me?"

"What?" she gasped out and shook her head. "Taylor, let's go. I want to get to Lissa!"

"Say you'll marry me, Amanda. I know you're worried about what I do and I'll try to find something else, but you have to marry me. You have to move in with me, away from this place. The violence. Please, baby. I love you." 

"You're crazy, Taylor. Come on, let's go!" Her voice was bordering on panic now but he wouldn't relent.

"Tell me you love me. Tell me you'll think about it. Tell me you'll move in with me. Just tell me something." He wasn't above begging, he found. Not with this small woman that turned him inside out. He would get on his hands and knees if necessary. He had no pride left. 

Amanda's eyes were huge as she realized that he wasn't budging until she told him something. "I do love you, yes, I'll think about it and I'll talk to Lissa. Now let's GO!"

He smiled and gave her a quick, hard kiss before he began driving again. They arrived at the school five minutes later and there was a mass of police and ambulances everywhere. 

"I thought you said there was only one person hurt, Taylor?" Amanda squealed and jumped from the van almost before Taylor stopped.

"That's what they said on the radio. Over here," he said and led her over to a cop he knew.

"Johns. My kid's in there. Little girl with red hair and blue eyes. She's eleven."

Johns turned and looked at Taylor skeptically. He knew he didn't have a child and if he did, Johns couldn't see her having red hair even though his woman clearly did. "The smaller kids were kept in the gym until their parents got here. Try there, Taylor."

"Thanks man." Taylor nodded and Johns and then led Amanda around the other side of the building. This part wasn't roped off; being it wasn't the crime scene. He opened the door and they were hit with a rush of noise. Crying, yelling and speculation.

Lissa wasn't hard to stop with her red hair standing out among a sea of brown and black. Taylor pushed his way through the crowd and grabbed Lissa up in his strong arms. She clung to him and cried and then shifted over to Amanda who hugged her and cried.

"It's ok baby. We're here now. Taylor's here. He'll keep us safe."

Lissa turned and looked at Taylor. "Will you? Will you keep us safe?"

"You bet I will, Peanut. Come on, let's get out of here." He said as he took Lissa back from Amanda and led the way out of the building. "You're never coming back here, Lissa. Never." He told her.

"Good," she said and buried her face in his shoulder.

Taylor placed Lissa in his van and buckled her seatbelt before he pulled Amanda's trembling body close. He kissed her head and told her he loved her and he would keep them safe.

After he drove for a few minutes he said to Lissa, "I asked your Mommy to marry me."

Lissa perked up and smiled, "Really? What did she say?" Her little voice was breathless and her eyes darted back and forth between Taylor and Amanda. 

"She hasn't answered me yet."

"Mom? You're gonna marry Taylor aren't you?"

Amanda turned around and looked at her. "Is that what you want?" Lissa nodded and Amanda closed her eyes. "Taylor's got a dangerous job, baby. You have to be sure,"

"Don't tell her that, Amanda. I told you I'm gonna look into a different line of work." Taylor snipped. He couldn't believe that she just said that.

"She needs to know what she's getting into, Taylor."

"Like hell! We're the adults; we protect kids from that shit. No one gonna hurt my Peanut or you for that matter. It won't touch the two of you."

Lissa wasn't sure what they were talking about or what Taylor did for a living but she didn't care. He was nice and she loved him. She wanted him as her Dad and she hoped to get a baby sister or brother too. 

"Are you going to have a baby?"

Amanda gasped and Taylor chuckled. _A baby? They'd have to do it first. Soon! _He promised himself,again.

"No we are not going to have a baby." Amanda said primly.

"Don't you want to have more kids?" Taylor asked her.

"Yes, I guess. I just never thought about it…"

"Well, think about it. I want one." He smiled and looked at her; "Soon," he watched the blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks and almost wrecked his van. She was beautiful. He threw back his head and laughed at her discomfort.

"So Mommy, you never answered me. Are you going to marry Taylor?"

The air stilled and everyone held their breath waiting for Amanda to give her answer, "Yes," she said finally.

Lissa punched the air and yelled "YES!"

Taylor laughed and pulled over and kissed her deeply until she fussed and pulled back because Lissa was in the car and because she was feeling all hot and tingly.

"When?" Lissa asked, now bouncing in her seat. 

"I don't know baby,"

"Tomorrow?" Taylor suggested. "We'll go down the court house tomorrow and get married. I'll have Matty stand up for me."

"I don't have anything to wear," Amanda shook her head in shock.

Taylor pulled out his phone and called Chris. He had a sister and she was always going on about clothes. He hung up and spoke again, "Chris's sister is gonna come meet us at the mall. She'll have you pick something out for you and Lissa. Then tomorrow, we'll get hitched."

"I can't believe this. I'm not sure I'm ready for this, Taylor. It's so soon."

"I know but we love each other, why wait?"


	11. Rings and Things

**11 Rings and Things**

As soon as Taylor and Amanda decided they were going to marry, they went to the court house and filed for a license and were assured it would be ready the following day. After that, Taylor drove to the mall and dropped off Amanda and Lissa into Gina's care. She was Chris's sister and Amanda had met her a few times when she came into _Scarpa's_ to eat or tease Chris about the women he hit on.

"Ok, baby, I'll meet you back here in two hours and then we'll get some dinner. After that we'll go home."

"Taylor, what about all of our stuff. I can't just leave it all at the apartment, besides there's stuff there I need, stuff that Lissa needs."

Taylor sighed; he just wanted to get them all home and safe in his house. "Ok, we'll stop by there first and then go home, ok?" Amanda nodded and he kissed her quickly on the lips and placed a kiss on top of Lissa's head.

He watched them as they walked into the mall, Lissa practically skipping and chattering up a storm. Things could be so different if the unthinkable had happened only a few hours ago.

If Lissa had been hurt at school. Or worse. He knew that he would've lost Amanda too. She wouldn't be able to deal with losing Lissa and would fall apart. She was strong, stronger than her mother had ever been but Lissa was her whole life. And now they were both Taylor's whole life.

With a small chuckle he climbed back into his van and headed for Matty's. He got there ten minutes later and Matty gave him a hug. 

"You all right man?"

"Yeah, thanks. Shit, Matty, that little girl scared the fuck out of me. If anything ever happened to her," Taylor trailed off.

"She's safe now, Taylor. You're getting her out of there, getting them both out of there. Everything will be alright."

"Yeah I know." Taylor grinned, "Can you believe I'm gonna get married?"

"Never thought I'd see the day. Always knew when you feel, you'd fall hard and fast."

Taylor nodded and was feeling very reflective and open. "I love her so much, Matty," He normally wouldn't admit his feelings so easily to Matty or anyone else for that matter but he couldn't hold it inside.

"How's the sex?" Matty asked with a grin. Taylor usually always had some sort of story to tell. They were always discreet about sharing their exploits and it never made it back to the women or anyone else. Just the two of them.

Taylor laughed out loud at that, "We haven't had any yet."

"WHAT?" Matty choked out, his eyes bulging in disbelief.

Taylor shook his head, "We haven't had any yet. We were close once, then her phone rang and we had to go and get Lissa."

Matty laughed until tears came out if his eyes and Taylor scowled at him. "Oh, that's good, Tay, that's rich. A woman, whom you've got a good hundred pounds on, has you so wrapped around her finger that you're marrying her before you sleep with her. What if the sex sucks?"

"That's not possible. She's all tiny and fiery. I'm almost scared for when she finds the power of it. Fuck, Matty, she's gonna hurt me. Once she knows what she really does to me," he shook his head, "Man, I'm a goner."

"That you are, my friend. That you are. I called Gino and he's closing down the store for an hour for us." Matty told him.

Taylor's heart started to pound. He was on his way to buy an engagement and wedding rings. How had this happened? He pulled up to _Tiffany's_ and took a deep breath.

"You sure about this?" Matty asked Taylor again, just to make use.

"Yeah. Always thought you'd be married first. Thought maybe I'd have you to help me through this."

"I'm here for whatever you need, Taylor." Matty took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead, "You got money?"

Taylor couldn't believe that Matty was offering him cash. He knew if he took it, Matty would never want it back. It was they way he was. Whatever Matty had, so did Taylor. "No, man. I'm good. Thanks for the offer though, means a lot."

Matty nodded again and opened his door, "Come on them, lets go pick out a ring."

Taylor looked around and rubbed his head. There were so many different sizes, shapes and colors. Should he get white or yellow gold? Platinum? Round, princess or oval cut? Teardrop?

"I want to get something that fits her. She's so small, I don't want it too big. I don't think it would look right if it was too bit?" He said it more as a question and looked at Gino, the salesman.

Gino nodded, "Yes, that's right. How small is she?"

Taylor grinned, "Little over a hundred pounds, give or take. She's only about five-three. Tiny, with lots of red hair and dark brown eyes," he trailed off, lost in a memory of the woman he loves.

Matty and Gino smirked at each other. They'd known Gino almost as long as they've know each other. He was the son of a man that Matty's dad knew. Not too connected, not like Matty but there was a link there. Gino knew who and what Taylor was and he found it amusing that someone so strong and violent could be swept away by a little slip of a woman.

"Ok, Taylor. Lets see what we got. Does she wear any other jewelry?"

"She's got her ears pierced but she never wears earrings. No other rings. Don't think they ever had the money for one."

"You want gold or platinum?"

"Which is better?"

"Well, platinum won't discolor like white gold and well, gold is gold. Personally, I'd go with the platinum. You wear a silver chain and the Star of David, I think it's tacky to mix white and gold together." Gino told Taylor honestly.

"Good, cause I like the white look better. I want it simple. Only one stone. I think the round one."

Gino pulled out a ring and set it before Taylor. Taylor picked it up with shaking hands and tried to listen to what Gino was saying about cut, and clarity. All Taylor knew was, this was the ring.

It was a one karat, round stone, in a thin, platinum band. There was a matching wedding band to go with it.

"That's it," Taylor whispered. He didn't even look at the price. He didn't care if he had to pay for it the rest of his life.

"What size ring does she wear?" Gino asked Taylor.

Taylor just blinked at him as panic set in. "I don't know. Matty, I don't know what size she wears,"

"Hold on a sec," Matty said as he called Gina and asked her what size she wore. Then he told Gina to have Amanda try on her ring. He snickered once and then hung up the phone. "She's a five,"

"Five? You sure?"

Matty nodded. He was the one that bought Gina the ring, he was sure of it's size. Gina wasn't as small as Amanda but she had very thin hands. "Yes, I'm sure. I bought Gina the ring, Taylor."

Taylor let out a bark of laughter, "You and Gina? When the fuck did that happen? How come you never told me?"

"It kinda just happened and with everything else going on, I never got a chance." Matty said with a slight blush.

Taylor grinned, "So, hows the sex?"

It was Matty's turn to laugh, "Fantastic, but don't let Chris know. Now lets get back to the rings and out of my sex life,"

"Yeah, ok. Least you got one," he grumbled and then smiled when he realized that after tomorrow, he would too, "I just want a plain matching band. Something wide. I also need something for a nine year old girl."

Gino just raised his eyebrow at Taylor and took him over to necklaces. Taylor chose a diamond L, in platinum with a matching chain.

The total of all his purchases were well over ten thousand dollars and he know if Amanda ever found out, she'd be pissed. He didn't care. It was his money, he had it, and a lot more, in his savings from his parents life insurance policy. His father made sure that Taylor was taken care of if something ever happened to them. Something did, and now Taylor was using that money to build a new life with the two girls he loved more than anything.

Taylor dropped off Matty and couldn't get back to the girls fast enough. They were waiting for him when he pulled up. He jumped out and opened their doors. He kissed Amanda on the lips. "Did you get everything you needed?"

She blushed a deep red Taylor noticed the Victoria Secret bag and grinned. He leaned in to her and dropped his voice to a seductive whisper, "Is that for me?"

Her lips parted in a small gasp and he couldn't stop himself from kissing her deeply. Lissa giggled in the back seat and he winked at her.

He ran around the van and jumped in, "Now we go to you place and get what you need for the next few days. I can have Matty or someone else box up the stuff while we're away."

"Away?" Amanda questioned him with an odd look.

"Yeah, away. You know, honeymoon?"

"Taylor, we can't take a honeymoon. Lissa has school and I have work," she whispered to him.

"Already been taken care of."

"What do you mean?"

Taylor rolled his eyes, "I mean, the honeymoon's already been booked and Lissa's been taken care of. She starts school on Monday. She's gonna stay at Matty's house,"

"Taylor, no."

Taylor looked over at Amanda and frowned. "Nothing will ever happen to her there. You have my word, Amanda. Matty will protect her with his life, just like he would if she was my own flesh and blood. She'll be safe and have a big house to explore." Taylor turned and looked at Lissa, "Would you like that, Lissa? You remember my friend Matty?"

Lissa nodded and looked back and forth between Taylor and Amanda, "I'll be ok Mom. You need to have some fun and not worry about me."

Amanda gave her a strained smile and gave Taylor a look that promised him that they weren't done talking about this. He just shrugged.

They got back to Amanda and Lissa's place and Lissa started collecting her stuffed animals and some clothes. They have very little in the way of extras or toys.

Amanda pulled Taylor aside, "I really wish you would have talked to me about this, Taylor."

"Why? So you'd have more time to come up with reasons why we can't go? No, Amanda, we're going. I want to have a honeymoon with my wife. I want to be able to spend the day in bed, touching you, every inch of you. A nine year old will prevent that. Don't get me wrong, I love her so much, but we need a little time for just the two of us. Besides, it's only for a week and she'll be fine."

"Don't you think it'll look strange for Matty to have a small girl with him?"

Taylor scowled down at her, "No. Matty's dating Gina. Lissa knows her and likes her, right?" Amanda nodded, "They're both gonna look after her,"

"Well, what about Benny?"

Taylor sighed and rubbed his head, "Listen, I know you're worried about this but I've known them my whole life. They are a part of me, who I am and they're not going to go away. Nothing will happened to her while she's there. In fact, it is one of the safest places she could ever be." He pulled her close and looked her in the eyes, "Can you trust me, Amanda? You know I'd never put her in harms way."

Amanda put her head on his chest, "I know, Taylor. I just don't know how to deal with anyone else being directly involved in her, our, lives. It's always been what I say." she smiled up at him, "I've never had to share her."

"Will you share her with me, Amanda? I want to love her like my own daughter,"

Amanda felt tears well up in her eyes. The stuff Taylor was saying and doing for her turned her heart to mush. He may be solid muscle and dangerous, but inside, he was the sweetest, most thoughtful man she'd ever met.

"Yes, Taylor, I'll share her with you." 

He smiled and she felt her heart pound. He lowered his mouth to hers and nibbled on her lower lip, "Maybe while we're away, we can work on expanding the family."

"I don't know about that, Taylor," Amanda replied breathlessly.

It was the truth. She wasn't sure that she was ready to have a child. She wanted some time with Taylor, to get to know him better but when he looked at her like that, she forgot all of her protests and wanted to give him anything he wanted.

"Hum, we'll see, baby. I want my child growing inside of you. I want Lissa to have a brother or sister. I want her to see what a real family is. We're a family now, baby, the three of us and I'd like to add to that. Soon." 

"What about work, money." 

Taylor chuckled, "Don't worry about that. You can work if you want, until we have babies, but you don't need to. I've got money, baby. I want you to be home, taking care of our children, of Lissa."

"Taylor," Amanda said as she pushed away from him slightly. They could hear Lissa chatting to her friend Sam on the phone in the background. Amanda moved away anyway just so they wouldn't be overheard, "I'm not marrying you to get out of here or so I don't have to work anymore."

"I know," he said as he stalked toward her, with a seductive look on his face. "I can't wait to make love to you, Amanda,"

"Taylor, I'm serious,"

"So am I," he defended.

"You're impossible," She tried to sound angry but she couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"I'm horny, baby," Taylor muttered against her neck as he backed her against the counter. He dropped his voice to a whisper, "I can't wait to have your legs wrapped around me. I can't wait to make you cum again," Amanda let out a small gasp and felt her knees go weak at his words, "You remember what it felt like, when I made you cum?" She nodded, her eyes were huge as she looked up at him.

"Every night, baby, I'm gonna make you feel that good every night." Taylor kissed her, showing her what he meant. He kissed her like they were alone. Like he was going to take here right there in the middle of her tiny kitchen. He only pulled back when he heard Lissa hang up the phone, "I love you, Amanda."

She sighed, "I love you too, Taylor. So help me God, I love you too."

Taylor smirked and stepped back, "Now, go get your shit. I want to go home."

She wrinkled up her nose at his choice of words and walked passed. He slapped her on the ass, making her jump and burst out laughing.

Taylor was so happy, he was besides himself. He was about to get married to the girl of his dreams and have an instant family. A family he's always longed for but never imagined he'd ever get. Yes, life was good for Taylor Reese.

As Amanda gathered her stuff, she looked around her small apartment. The place she'd called home since she was sixteen years old. There were so many memories tied to this place that she was feeling choked up. She knew life with Taylor would be interesting and she'd be happy. That Lissa would be happy.

Together, the three of them, would make many more happy memories. She sighed and sat down on her bed. Tomorrow, she'd be losing her virginity to a man she loved. Her husband. Grinning like a school girl she giggled.

Late at night, when she would picture her husband, he was nothing like Taylor. He'd be normal size. Lean with lots of blonde hair and blue eyes. He'd court her with chocolates and flowers and would never swear or make sexual innuendo's to her in the middle of the kitchen, in front of Lissa.

He'd be an accountant or a business man. Middle management. Nothing too fancy, just an average man with an average life. How did she end up being swept up into Taylor's net? 

Thinking back on the first time she saw him, she knew he was trouble. That's why she tried to ignore him. A lot of fat good that did. Taylor was not a man to be ignored. He pushed and kept pushing until she was hopelessly in love with him, just like he wanted her to be. And she wouldn't change it for anything. 

Tomorrow, she would be Mrs. Taylor Reese.


	12. The Night Before

12 The Night Before

"This was my room, Peanut. We can paint it and change it any way you want. It's yours now. Do you like it?" Taylor asked Lissa nervously.

"Can I paint it blue?" Lissa asked him.

Taylor raised an eyebrow at her, "Blue? Thought little girls always liked pink?"

"It clashes with my hair," she said with a saucy grin.

Taylor threw back his head and laughed. "Whatever you want, sweetie. You want blue, you'll have blue."

"Thanks," Lissa replied shyly, "Daddy,"

Taylor knelt down in front of her and pulled her into his arms for a fierce hug, "Thank you, Lissa," he whispered into her hair. 

"For what?" She questioned.

"For letting me be your Daddy."

Amanda had to turn away from the sight of them. She had tears in her eyes and if she hadn't already been head over heels in love with Taylor, she would have been after that exchanged.

She was struck with the sudden knowledge that she wanted his child growing inside of her body and felt her heart pound. Life with Taylor was not something that was going to go slow and easy. It was hard and fast and she wouldn't change any of it.

"Why don't you unpack your stuff, Sweetie. You put it anywhere you like and then after the wedding, we'll have the rest of your stuff here." Amanda told Lissa who nodded and started taking stuff out of her overnight beg and setting it on her new bed.

She was excited to have her own room. As much as she loved Amanda and saw her as her mom, she was ready for her own room. All her friends had their own room. Now she could put up pictures of her favorite movie stars and bands. Not that she had any yet, they could never afford magazines but she was sure things were going to change now with Taylor being her Daddy.

Taylor grabbed Amanda by her hand and led her down the hall to their bedroom. He closed the door and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"Wait, where am I going to sleep?" she asked him breathlessly.

"Right here, where you belong." Taylor told her as he back her up against the bed.

"Taylor, we're not married yet."

"So?"

"So? What do you mean so? I can't share a bed with you until we're married." Amanda told him primly. Taylor groaned and cursed. 

"Oh come on, Amanda. It's only a few more hours,"

"That's right, then it shouldn't be that hard to wait."

"Oh, it's hard alright," Taylor whined and rubbed his straining erection against Amanda.

"Taylor, I'm serious," Amanda said with a giggle. She was trying to be stern about it but it was very difficult with him acting the way he was.

"So am I. Please, baby, I'm ready to pop."

"Taylor," Amanda sighed.

"Just touch me. We don't need to go all the way, just touch me so I don't have to do it myself." Amanda gasped and Taylor chuckled. "What? How do you think I've made it through the last few weeks? Not with any help from you,"

"It's been a difficult time," she whispered and looked away. 

Taylor turned her face towards his again and rubbed her jaw with his thumb, "I know, Baby, and that's why I haven't brought the subject back up. We were close once, remember?"

Did she remember? She still burned at night when she thought about how close they'd come. How it felt to have his hands on her. Amanda took a shaky breath, "Yes,"

"Hum, I remember too. I remember what it was like to have those beautiful tits in my mouth." Taylor cupped her breasts and chafe the nipples right through the fabric of her shirt. "What you looked like when you came for me." Taylor let out a low growl, "You're so fuckin' hot, Baby. I want you so bad, you can't even imagine." 

"I want you too, Taylor," Amanda assured him and kissed him again. 

"Then why are we waiting?"

"Well first of all, Lissa is up and two doors down,"

"It's almost bedtime," Taylor countered, "She's had a busy day."

"You're hopeless," 

"Yes I am. I'm hopelessly in love with you," he muttered against her neck.

"Hopeless with the cheesy come on lines," Amanda laughed. "I'm a virgin and that won't even work on me."

Taylor laughed and kissed her again. "I love you," he whispered before he kissed her slowly.

"Hum, thats better but it's still not going to work. I've waited this long, Tay, I can wait a few hours more. That way, you'll have all of me and when Lissa gets older, I can honestly tell her that you were my one and only and that we waited until we were married. That you were gentlemanly enough and loved me enough to marry me without sex."

Taylor sighed and stepped back, "When you put it that way,"

Amanda giggled and felt a small stab of regret. She stepped up to him, "What time is the service tomorrow?"

Taylor grinned, "Eleven,"

"Then we'll have all afternoon and night and the next week to make up for tonight."

"Well, I don't think we should do it on the plane, unless you want to join the mile high club." He teased her and groaned when he had a flash of her, pressed against the door of an impossibly small bathroom, cuming under him.

"Where are we going?" She asked, breaking him out of his sexual musings.

"Some place warm and close cause I can't wait much longer. We get hitched, come back here for a few hours and then our plane takes off at four. After that, it's all sunshine, drinks with little umbrellas and sex. Lots and lots of sex."

Amanda bit her bottom lip, "What if... what if I'm not any good?" she asked, turning her face away to hide her embarrassment.

"That's not possible, Baby. Anytime you touch me, even kiss me, I'm ready to cum."

"I don't know what to do, Taylor."

"You just have to touch me and love me. Everything else will come in time. Now, I'm going to be the gentleman you're so sure I am and walk away now before it's too late. I'll send Matty to pick you and Lissa up a little after ten 'cause if I see you again before you're my wife, I'm not gonna stop." Taylor opened the door and turned to look at her one last time, "I love you, Amanda."

"I love you too, Taylor."

His eyes bored into her a moment, dark and sensual and then he was gone. Amanda felt completely alone and had to resist the urge to call him back and let him to all the wonderful, exciting things he'd been promising to do to her.

Tomorrow. Just a few hours. Amanda was sure she wouldn't sleep but she was out the instant her head hit the pillow, surrounded by Taylor's scent.

He on the other hand wasn't so lucky. Taylor tossed and turned and finally gave up the fight at 6:45 am and left. It was both the hardest and easiest thing he ever had to do. Hard because he was leaving the two girls he loved more than anything but the easiest because if he stayed one more minute, he was going to storm up the stars, wake Amanda and bury himself in her body and then, well, they'd never make it to the courthouse on time.


	13. The Morning Of

13 The Morning Of

Taylor went straight to Matty's house looking for some support. He was nervous, though he didn't know why. He knew he wanted to marry Amanda. He wanted it more than he's ever wanted anything and it was going to happen. Today. He'd be a husband and an instant father. 

He loved Lissa with everything he had and already saw her as his own child, but it would be, other than the adoption, which they hadn't discussed yet, final.

No more late nights rolling in, drunk and smelling like a perfume. No more hanging out with Chris and Matty to all hours of the night, talking, remembering and laughing at the stupid shit they'd done over the years. And no more risking his life for Benny Chains.

What the fuck was he going to do now?

Taylor was deep in thought, rubbing his head like it would somehow help his problem when Matty came in looking sleep deprived and sexually satisfied.

Taylor grunted when he caught the faint scent of Gina's perfume and shook his head. "Chris is gonna kick you're ass."

"Fuck 'em. I'm gonna marry her, Taylor. She's the one!"

Taylor smiled and hugged his life long friend. "Congrats. Least I'm not the only sucker to fall."

"No you're not,"

"Scared?" Taylor asked Matty.

"Fuckin' right,"

"You?"

"Petrified," 

"Why? You're already marrying her today. You love you, you know she loves you. There's Lissa and she adores you."

"I know. I'm scared of fuckin' it up." 

"You won't, Taylor."

"She wants me to get out with your Dad."

"Yeah I know. He and I've already talked about it."

"I don't know how to do nothing else."

Matty smiled and shook his head. Taylor never really saw his true worth. How much he was capable of. He always thought of himself as the muscle but there was a lot more to him than that.

"It just so happens I know of something." Matty grinned when Taylor arched a brow at him. "I've got a business proposition for you, old friend. You interested?" 

"Is it legal? Amanda only wants legal." Taylor said with a smile and they both laughed.

"How have we become such chumps for some pussy?" Matty asked as he wiped tears from his eyes.

Taylor snorted. He had no idea and he wasn't even getting any pussy. Yet. Soon. The thought gave him butterflies. He'd never had butterflies before from a woman. In fact he was known for being completely, emotionally unattached to the women he fucked. Maybe that was what was so different about Amanda. He loved her. Fully. Truly and they'd never made love.

_Made love? I'm a fuckin' sap!_ Taylor scoffed at himself but he still grinned. Yes, when he touched her, he'd make love to her. He'd show her how he felt. What he felt. _Then_, he'd rock her world.

"Yo, Taylor, you with me?" Matty asked as he slapped him on the leg.

Taylor shook his head and looked at Matty, blinking. Matty laughed even harder. "Man, you got it bad."

"Fuck you!" Taylor growled, trying to sound menacing but failing as they both broke out into a fit of giggles.

Gina came out if Matty's room and looked at both of them like they were crazy. "Are you two alright?"

They let out a new roar of laughter and she just shook her head and left the room. Finally when they sobered, Taylor cleared his throat, "So, tell me what you have in mind."

Matty took a deep breath and scratched his jaw, "Well, the way I figure it, we suck at this knockaround guy shit." Taylor's brows raised to his nonexistent hairline and Matty shrugged, "Alright, I suck at this knockaround guy shit. I'm not a killer, I ain't cut out for that shit, no offense," Taylor just nodded his head and waited for Matty to get to the point. The man could be long winded sometimes.

"I don't want a restaurant, bar seems too obvious. Nightclub doesn't fit into the new family style you're going with."

"Get to the point, man. I've got to get married at eleven."

"I was thinking about opening a fine leather store,"

Taylor laughed and then he realized that Matty was serious. "A leather store?"

"Yeah, well, why not? We've been wearing the shit since we were kids. Gina's all into those designer bags and shit. Coach, Louie Vuitton. Shoes, coats, bags, belts. Real stuff too, not some cheap knock off shit."

"You want to open a leather store," Taylor mused and deadpanned, "I won't have to wear leather pants will I?"

"Fuck you, Taylor. If you don't want to, that's fine. I'm gonna do it one way or another, but I figured you'd like in on it. I know Chris would be all over it."

"You gonna ask him?"

"You think I should?"

Taylor shrugged, "Don't know. He wants out of _Scarpa's_ but I don't think that will ever happen. He's into that high priced shit though and knows quality."

"Maybe we could have him in the sales area or something, purchasing?"

Taylor nodded, "Alright, I'm in."

"You are?"

"Sure. You want to open a leather store, I'm with you," Taylor eyes sparkled with mischief, "Are we gonna have some toys?" Taylor asked, grinning like a cat.

Matty smirked back, "We just might have to have a small, back room for the more – unorthodox – items."

"We'll have to try them out first, that way we can give good recommendations and suggestions." Taylor trailed off in thought, "Wonder how Amanda would like a Cat-O-nine tails?"

"I think you need to touch the woman first before you introduce a fetish of yours." Matty said and glanced at the clock, "Come on, we've got time to eat and then we've got to get going. Chris said that he's got lunch all ready for us, so we'll head there after the ceremony to eat."

Taylor scowled and Matty shook his head, "You've got to feed the woman at some point, Taylor. Then you can fuck her."

--

Amanda's eyes snapped open and her heart started to pound. She was getting married today. In four hours.

Taylor was gone, she know it instinctively. She heard the ticking of a clock somewhere and the floor creaked. All sounds she'd get used to over the next few years of her life.

She could hear Lissa giggling at the TV, which she had turned down low. Amanda stretched and grinned again. She was going to get married. Today!

She'd be Mrs. Taylor Reese. 

How the hell had that happened. She just met him, didn't she? He somehow muscled himself in to her life and heart and here she was. Laying in his bed, his scent surrounding her as she felt heat pool low at the thought of him touching her.

She was finally going to become a woman. Taylor's woman. He would be the only man to ever touch her, she was sure of it. That thought made her so grateful that she had waited. While she hadn't dated much, she still could have put herself out there and become promiscuous but she chose to save herself for the man she loved. And she loved Taylor Reese.

Amanda got up and made her way into Lissa's room. She wasn't so sure she approved of the TV there but the girl deserved to be happy and have some extra pampering. They only had a very small, color TV back at the apartment and no cable.

Lissa sat in awe of the brightly colored sponge and his pink moron sidekick. "Look," Lissa said, turning toward Amanda and smiling broadly. "I can finally watch Spongebob whenever I want like everyone else." 

_Like everyone else._ The words cut deep but Amanda also knew she did everything she could. Lissa must have seen her flinch and quickly turned the TV off and moved to wrap her arms around Amanda's middle.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She knew that Amanda gave her everything she could.

Amanda sniffed and wiped a tear away, "It's ok, baby. We had it rough but you were so good about it and never complained. You're a wonderful little girl, Lissa, and I love you."

"Things are going to be different now," Lissa said wisely.

Amanda nodded, "Yes they are but I don't want you to take advantage of Taylor. You know you have him wrapped around your finger,"

Lissa giggled and smiled, "So do you."

Amanda snorted and then grinned, "Maybe just a little bit. Promise me one thing, baby. Tell me or Taylor if you're ever unhappy, ok?"

"I will. Can I watch some more TV?"

"We've got to eat and get ready."

"We've got _hours_, and there's a TV in the kitchen."

"Hum, I may have to have a little talk with Taylor about all of these sets. For today. It's a special day so we can spoil ourselves."

"I get a real Daddy today," Lissa confided with a huge smile.

"Yes you do, baby. And I get to marry the man of my dreams,"

--

They sat and ate cereal in the kitchen with cartoons playing in the background. Lissa was looking intently at Amanda it was making her uncomfortable.

"What is it, Peanut?"

"Are you and Taylor going to have sex?"

Amanda blinked and opened her mouth to speak but nothing would come out. She tried again, still nothing.

Lissa's blue eyes burned into her, "Sam said her parents have sex. She's even walked in on them once and they got real embarrassed." 

"Well, um, people that are in love and are married show that love in a special way," Amanda struggled to come up with something witty to say.

"That's how babies are made too, right?"

"Yes, Lissa, that's how babies are made."

"Is Taylor going to put a baby in your tummy? Jimmy at school's mom is going to have another baby. It's like her hundredth one or something."

She stood up and took her bowl over to the sink, trying to buy her some extra time to answer. "Do you want a brother or sister?" 

"Yes, but only if I can help. I don't want to change poopie diapers though, you and Daddy can take care of that." 

Amanda laughed and pulled Lissa into a hug, "I think I want to have Taylor's baby soon, sweetie but that will never change the way I feel about you." 

"But it will be your own child."

"I may not have given birth to you, Lissa, but I've raised you your entire life. You're mine, you understand? You're my daughter, not Jennifer's."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, Lissa. Now, how about we go and get pretty for our man. Gina is coming over to help with our hair and make up."

Lissa's eyes got really big. "Do I get to wear makeup too?" 

With a twist of her mouth, Amanda finally nodded, "Maybe a little lipgloss," That got a whoop out of Lissa before she took off running up the stairs.

While Lissa sat in a huge, bubbly bath, Amanda packed her bag. She wondered if Taylor had packed one for himself and figured that he didn't have the time. Everything was happening so fast so she decided to pack some extra stuff for him. She searched everywhere for his underwear and couldn't find any.

She blinked. Didn't he wear any? That couldn't be comfortable, she decided. He'd have to start wearing them now. He was going to be a married man, with a child. Hopefully two children. Yes, he would have to wear underwear. Boxer briefs. She'd seen TV ads for them and she always thought they were sexy and with Taylor's body, he'd look fantastic in them.

Amanda heard someone clear their throat her head whipped around and a blush stained her cheeks.

Gina laughed, "Do I even want to know where you were a second ago?"

Amanda grinned and blushed darker. A curse of having red hair, "Probably not and I couldn't tell you with out dying of embarrassment anyway."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Taylor's giddy with nerves."

She gasped, "You've seen him?"

"Yeah. He and Matty were up early this morning laughing like loons. I tell you, Mandy, when those two get together and start talking, they're entire demeanor changes."

Amanda frowned, "I've never seen Taylor laugh like that." 

Gina shrugged, "Most people don't. He used to laugh all the time, before his parents died and Benny got his claws into him. Now he's quiet and distant. Under it all, he's still Taylor."

"He's never been distant with me," Amanda replied dreamily.

Gina snickered, "No, I don't think he would be. He loves you, Amanda, and I've never seen Taylor love before. Never. It looks good on him.

"Now, let me start working my magic on that beautiful face of yours and I can't wait to get my hands in your hair." 

Amanda bit her lip nervously, "Just don't put too much on. I'm not used to wearing much make up. I don't want to look cheap."

Gina threw back her head and laughed, "You couldn't look cheap if you tried, love."

The next two hours were spent making the three women beautiful. Lissa had a pale blue halter dress that came down to the floor and shoes that matched. She got to wear a bit of pink lipgloss and she and Gina talked Amanda in to letting her wear some blush too. She also wore a light blue crystal necklace and matching bracelet.

Gina had chosen buttercup yellow. It complemented her skin tone and dark hair and eyes. It was strapless and she had small, strappy high heeled shoes to match. Her hair was swept up in a complicated knot at the back of her head and she looked breathtaking.

Amanda could only stare at her and wish she was taller and fuller in all the right places. She shrugged, she was what she was and Taylor seemed to enjoy her this way. He loved touching her and cupping certain body parts in his huge hands.

She looked at herself in the full length mirror and gasped. She looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled up on the top of her head and hung down in ringlets. Gina had some how wove small daisies into it. 

Her dress was a flowing chiffon halter that hugged her small breasts and then flared out down to her feet. Her shoes were white sandals with a small heel on them. Her make up was subtle but it still did amazing things to her eyes. They looked innocent and smoky at the same time. She looked fresh and sexy and she knew Taylor would go wild. She turned and grinned at Gina.

"Taylor's gonna die when he sees me."

"You look like a princess, Mommy." Lissa told her.

"I feel like one, Peanut. Now, lets go and get my prince."

Gina drove them to the courthouse where Matty and Taylor were waiting for them. Gina made them go inside so Taylor didn't see Amanda before she came into the room, seconds before they said their 'I do's'.


	14. The Wedding

**14 The Wedding**

Taylor grumbled when he was sent back into the building. He missed Amanda and he wanted to see her. Kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted her in his arms more than he'd ever wanted anything. She was going to be his wife. 

His wife.

The thought made him smile and took some of the sting out of being sent away like a naughty dog that peed on the floor.

He paced and jumped when Matty came into the room to tell him it was time to go to the judges chambers. He walked in and his heart clenched. Lissa was there, looking like a little fairy in her light blue dress.

She sent him a huge smile and he held out his arms for her. She ran to him and gave him a fierce hug. She clung as he stood and he muttered to her that he loved her.

Lissa kissed him on the cheek and told him she loved him too.

Taylor set her down on the floor and shook his head as he knelt in front of her. "You look so grown up, Peanut. I got something for you."

Taylor took the necklace out that he had purchased for her and held it out. Lissa gasped and reached out with a shaking hand.

"Is this for me?"

"Yes. You like it?"

Lissa nodded quickly and sniffed. She took off the one she wore and then looked at Taylor, "Will you put it on for me?"

"I'd be honored to." Taylor replied soberly and his hands shook as he tried to open the tiny little clasp. Lissa lifted her hair and turned for him to have better access. After two tries it got it hooked and then he placed a kiss to the nape of her neck.

She turned around and grasped the L in the palm of her hand. "I'm never taking it off," she promised. "Thank you, Daddy." Lissa threw her arms around him again and hugged him tightly.

After a minute, Taylor pulled back and held her at arms length, "Are you wearing lipgloss?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Yes and blush too!" Lissa replied excitedly.

Taylor shot Gina a deadly look and then looked back at Lissa, "You're too young to wear make-up."

"It's only for today, Daddy." 

"Yeah, Taylor, lighten up. It's only for today." Matty said with a grin and a wink toward Lissa. 

Taylor straightened up slowly, scowled at Matty and pointed, "You wait 'till you got a daughter."

Matty's face went white and Taylor threw back his head and laughed. 

The judge came in and cleared his throat. "Ok, are we all here?" He looked around and frowned, "Where's the bride?"

"She's waiting outside. She wanted Taylor to be in the room when she came in so she could see his reaction." Gina supplied with a gleam in her eye. She knew how Taylor would react and she couldn't wait to see him.

"Very well, Miss Scarpa, why don't you call her in and we'll start."

Taylor felt his heart flutter and then pound. His palms grew sweaty and itchy. Then the door opened and the world fell away.

His breath caught and his jaw dropped open. He stood there, shocked at the beautiful woman in front of him. His woman. He managed to close his mouth and clenched his teeth to keep from crying.

Taylor felt tears prick his eyes as he looked down at Amanda's small hand as it slipped into his. He met her eyes and realized he wasn't the only one trying to hold it together.

Gina told Amanda it was time come in the room. After one more quick glance at herself in the mirror, she took a deep, shuddering breath and willed herself not to cry. Gina opened the door and her eyes went straight to Taylor.

Amanda had never seen him dressed up and he looked fantastic. He had on a black suit that made his shoulders's look impossibly huge. His shirt was crisp and blinding white and he had on a silken black tie. The pants hugged his legs and his shoes were expensive, Italian leather.

Her breath caught and held as she saw his eyes roam over her. His jaw dropped and she smiled. The feeling of power that rushed into her at that moment was unbelievable. To make someone like Taylor's jaw drop. Well it was great for a woman's ego.

Amanda made her way to him and watched tears glisten in his eyes. Or were they her own. She didn't know until she looked up into his chocolate brown ones and the world fell away.

They never broke eye contact as they exchanged vows. With each deeply rumbled word Taylor spoke, his eyes heated, turned possessive and sultry and it made her tremble.

With each word she spoke, her voice rang clear and she felt all of her past life slipping away. All the insecurities, all the hateful things her mother had said to her about men. She knew she would be happy with Taylor. He would do anything and everything to make her happy. He'd never leave her alone and broken.

Taylor knew she was unaware of the heat in her gaze as she looked at him. Innocent? If he didn't know better, he would never believe it. She was all heat and fire. Sex and sin. And she was his.

"By the power vested in me by the great state of New York, I pronounce you man and wife. Mr. Reese, you may kiss your bride."

Taylor smiled.

Amanda melted.

And their lips met.

Their hearts pounded and tears finally escaped their eyes.

Taylor broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around her, picked her up and twirled her in a circle. He kissed her quick and hard before he set her back on to her feet with a laugh of pure joy.

Amanda swayed with dizziness and giggled.

Gina and Matty came over to congratulate them and Lissa hugged them both when Taylor lifted her again into his arms.

She laid her head on his shoulder and his heart broke because he knew she was getting too old to show such affection. She may be small, but she was still almost ten years old. He hoped soon they would have another child that he, that they all, could cuddle close.

They filed out of the courthouse and Taylor stopped and pulled Amanda close before he kissed her again. "You are beautiful, Baby. I love you so much."

"Thank you, Taylor, and you're beautiful too."

He snorted at that but was secretly pleased she saw him that way, "Men are not beautiful. Ruggedly handsome. Yes. Gorgeous. Definitely. But beautiful, never." He grinned down at her and Matty and Lissa made gagging noises at them.

"Come on you two. I'm hungry and if we're late, my brother will have my head. He was upset he couldn't make the ceremony but he wanted to be at _Scarpa's_ to make sure everything was ready and perfect for when we got there."

Lissa rode with Matty and Gina in her car but Taylor and Amanda rode in a rented Rolls Royce.

On the drive over the _Scarpa's_, Taylor couldn't keep his hands off of her. His wife. "Amanda," he sighed as he nibbled on her neck. "Can't we skip lunch and go home? Please?"

Her voice was husky when she spoke, "No. It'll only take an hour and Chris went through so much trouble."

"Fuck Chris." Taylor growled.

Amanda pulled back and looked him in the eyes, "I'd rather you fuck me."

Taylor chocked and his eyes grew huge. He had never heard her say that word before and he found it arousing. "I will, baby. I promise you that. I'm gonna make love to you. I'm gonna fuck you and I'm gonna make you scream."

Amanda blushed six shades of red and buried her face in his neck. "I can't believe I said that. Married for only fifteen minutes and I'm already talking like you. God help me."

Taylor chuckled and groaned. "Do we really have to go eat? I'm only hungry for one thing."

Amanda sighed and snuggled close. "I'm kind of scared, Taylor."

"I'll be gentle as I can, baby. I don't want to hurt you and you're so tiny."

Taylor drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed to be patient. He couldn't just throw her on the bed and fuck her like he wanted to. She was a virgin and he needed to make sure she was ready. That he wouldn't hurt her any more than necessary.

"Come on, Amanda. Lets eat and then we have a whole week to ourselves."


	15. The Honeymoon

15 Honeymoon

Thank you all for reading and reviewing.

Chris had thrown together a great spread of food on very short notice. He even had a small wedding cake for them. Taylor was very touched that he'd go to so much trouble and expense. He once again was grateful that Chris didn't die when it all when to shit the year before.

The entire time they sat there and ate, Taylor couldn't take his eyes off his wife. He smiled at the word. _Holy shit, I'm married! _he thought and squeezed Amanda's hand.

She turned and their eyes locked. Amanda smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss. "I love you."

Taylor growled and muttered, "Let's get out of here." He was hard and ready to finally make love to her. He had waited so long to have her. Not any more.

Matty heard Taylor and grinned. He decided to give his friend a graceful exit, "Hey, Taylor. You guys better get moving if you want to catch your flight."

Taylor raised a brow at him and the quickly stood, pulling Amanda up with him. They said their good-byes and Amanda cried a bit when she walked away from Lissa. She'd never been away from her for more that one night at a time and she already missed her.

"She'll be fine and it'll be good practice for Matty and Gina. If they can survive a week with a child, then maybe they'll be the ones getting married next." Taylor told Amanda with a grin. Matty married. He couldn't wait. Gina would eat him alive.

They walked out into the bright sunshine and Amanda couldn't contain the giggle that escaped her. "What time is our flight?"

Taylor looked at his watch and cursed. Fuck, Matty planned this on purpose. They didn't have time to go back to their place. If they wanted to catch their flight, they had to leave now.

"Fuck!"

"What is it?"

"We got to go now, babe. Matty didn't give us any breathing room."

Amanda laughed again and wrapped her arms around Taylor's waist. "Are you pouting?"

Taylor scowled, "You're damn right I am. I've waited for weeks and now this. We have a three hour flight ahead of us. Then we need to check in to the hotel before I can even touch you. It ain't fair."

Matty arranged for the car to take them to the airport so Taylor sat in the back and stewed. He was so fuckin' horny he was sure his dick would explode.

Amanda snickered and shook her head, "Taylor, we've waited this long,"

"Too long." He grumbled.

"Is there something I could do to make you more... comfortable?" she asked. Taylor blinked and swallowed hard.

"Ah," he looked at his watch again and tried to judge the time. Maybe they could have a quickie in the limo. It wasn't like he'd last long. "Come here," he said and pulled her onto his lap. He wanted her but he didn't want their first time to be rushed.

He wanted to take his time and taste and lick every inch of her body. "Thanks, but if you ain't cummin', I ain't cummin'. We'll just have to wait."

"They say good things come to those who wait." Amanda kissed him and ran her hands over his chest. She didn't know when she became so bold but Taylor was her husband now and she wanted to be a good wife. She wanted to please him. She couldn't wait to make love to him. Would he be slow or take her hard and fast.

The thought alone made her heart jump. She remembered what his mouth felt like on her and she shivered. She was sure he was fantastic in bed and his experience was something she just decided she wouldn't think about.

"Thank you for saving me from myself, Taylor."

"Thank you for giving me a chance. I know I can come off as scary and I know you didn't want anything to do with me. I forced myself into your life but I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"I'm glad you did."

Taylor kissed her again and told her all about Matty's store idea on the way to the airport. Anything to keep his mind of fucking her senseless.

--

The plane touched down three hours and twenty-five minutes later in the Florida Keys. The ride had been interesting to say the least. Amanda had never been on a plane before and she'd been scared. At first.

After that, she was almost bouncing in her seat. Matty had booked them first class and last minute had to have cost boatloads of money.

Taylor would try to pay him back but he knew that he'd never accept the money. He just shook his head and wondered how he ended up with such great friend and the most beautiful woman as his wife.

What had he done right in his life to deserve such gifts? He wasn't sure but he planned on enjoying them every day.

Once they were checked into the hotel and found their room, Amanda made her way to the bathroom to get cleaned up. It'd been a long day and she wanted to look nice and fresh for Taylor.

Taylor ordered up some room service and opened up the doors to their suite. It was beach level and the view was breathtaking. He stripped down to his pants with a moan of pleasure. He hated wearing suits and he'd been stuck in that one all day.

He poured the champagne when it came, along with strawberries and some whipped cream. They'd have a real dinner later. Maybe. If he could pull his body away from hers.

Taking a sip of the bubbly wine, and watched the sun beginning to set. He smiled and thought the color looked like Amanda's hair.

The door opened behind him and Taylor swallowed hard when he saw her.

She was dressed all in white from her high heeled feet to her lace encased breasts. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. So tiny. So innocent.

Taylor thought his heart would jump out of his chest. He set his glass down, forgotten and went to her.

"Fuck, baby, you're so beautiful."

Amanda looked up shyly at him and smiled, "Thank you. You are too," she told him as she ran her hands over his bare chest. It was only the second time she'd seen him shirtless and she decided she could get very used to it. Maybe pass a law or something that said he was required to be shirtless anytime they were alone together.

Taylor wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently. "We'll take it slow, Amanda." She raised a brow at him and he chuckled when he saw her face. "Ok, I'll try to take it slow."

Taylor never really thought much of a wedding day, or wedding night for that matter. He was sure of one thing, he never expected his bride to be a virgin. Sure, when he was young and naïve, he wanted a pure woman but as he grew and the life he led, he knew that was very unlikely.

But Amanda. She was pure. No one but him had ever touched her flesh. Kissed her body and he would be the first to make love to her. He'd be the only one to make love to her. She was his and no one would touch her and live.

"I trust you," Amanda assured him. This was it. Her dream. She'd always wanted to save herself for when she got married but, at a very young age, almost gave up hope of finding someone special.

Her mother almost ruined it for her with her incisive damning of the male persuasion. Amanda had been scared of men and she knew, deep inside, no one but Taylor could have changed her mind.

He looked big and scary and he could kill you if he wanted to but with her he was soft and gentle. Loving. Faithful. He loved her and he married her without sex up front. He wanted a family with her, which scared the heck out of her but she was willing. For him.

Maybe they'd even make a baby tonight.

She moaned as Taylor's mouth brushed hers, his tongue flicking out to taste her. She clutched him to her and held on. He would lead and she'd follow him anywhere.

Taylor picked her up and carried her to their bed. He couldn't wait much longer. He needed to be inside of her. Lowering her on the bed, he never broke contact with his lips.

He kissed and teased her until she was panting under him. "Taylor," she whispered as he began to draw away.

Taylor chuckled, "Relax, baby. I'm just going to take off your shoes. As sexy as they are, I want to see every inch of you."

He ran his fingers down her calves and he grinned when she tried to squirm away with a laugh. _Ticklish, humm, sexy. _He slid each shoe off slowly and kissed her ankles.

Strong, firm hands ran up the sides of her body and under the hem of her lace nightgown. He found she was panty-less and his breath caught in his throat. _Fuck, I'm finally going to see her pussy. _

His thumbs brushed the tight curls and he looked her in the eyes. She looked slightly scared but when he applied a bit more pressure with his thumb, pressing against the hood of her clit, she gasped and her eyes went cloudy.

That was what he was waiting for. Taylor sat her up and pulled the nightdress over her head and froze.

She was so tiny. A single hand could span most of her stomach and her breast were small and firm. He lowered his eyes and found her nest of glistening curls. He growled and almost came in his pants at the sight. They matched her hair perfectly and he could see where some were darkened with her juices. For him.

He was the only man to see her like this.

Taylor stroked her skin and reveled in the softness of it. She felt like silk under his palm. He trailed fingers over her flat tummy and tried to imagine it swollen with his child.

"Open your legs for me, Amanda. Let me see all of you." His voice was husky with need when he spoke. He didn't know why he was torturing himself like this but he seemed to want, all of a sudden, to draw their first time out.

He knew he had the rest of his life to explore her body but night now, it was more important than burying himself inside of her.

Amanda looked at Taylor and felt her heart skip. He was touching her, stroking her like she was the most precious thing in the world. She felt like a princess. She did as he asked and opened herself up to him.

Taylor groaned at the sight of her moist pink folds peeking out from their halo of fire. He could hear Amanda's shallow breathing as she waited for something. All he could do was force himself to breathe and look.

He breathed deep, caught her scent and he felt fire race through his system. Then his need changed and looking wasn't enough. He had to touch.

Taylor grabbed her legs, spread them further and lowed his head to drink. He paused, just above her, her pubic hair tickling his chin. He wanted to watch her as he licked her for the first time.

He opened his mouth and her breath stilled when she realized what he was going to do. His tongue came out and she sucked in a shuddering breath. He touched her and her whole body jerked as the breath exploded from her lungs.

Taylor moaned at the first taste of her and his eyes drifted closed. He licked her, pulled her close and buried his face in her heat.

Amanda gasped and gripped the sheets under her. "Taylor,"

He growled in answer and she felt it travel through her whole body. She let out a small cry of pleasure so he did it again.

He'd never tasted anything better. Nothing was better than the small woman under him. He ran a finger around her folds and stopped when he felt her hymen. He had to stop or he'd cum his pants.

Amanda squirmed above him and he raised his eyes to watch her. He slowly teased her with his finger, careful not to hurt her. He wanted her to cum in his mouth but he needed to feel that small piece of skin break against his cock.

His teeth found her clit and he worried it. She screamed and he smiled. He knew she'd be a firecracker in bed and he was just warming her up. They had an entire week ahead of them. He sucked on her and growled.

Amanda burned. Taylor's mouth was unbelievable and where she should have felt embarrassed, she felt nothing but heat and need. He'd given her an orgasm before, her first and only but she felt it now. Building quickly and she couldn't wait for it to over take her again.

"Please," she begged and Taylor actually whimpered. She was begging him to make her cum.

He pulled his hand away, gripped her waist and ate her with everything he had. His tongue lapped at her and then flicked quickly over her clit. He dropped over and his tongue circled her tight anus and he felt her stiffen. So he did it again to see if it was out of fear or pleasure.

She shivered and he added that to the growing list of things that drove her crazy. She had no fear, no shyness. She gave herself fully to him and it was the sexiest thing he'd ever experienced.

Taylor closed his eyes and lost himself in her when she began to orgasm. He drank her deep, loving the sounds of her cries. He ground his hips into the bed.

And he came.

She never even touched him.

Taylor cursed at himself and then laughed at his lack of control. Just knowing she was cumming was enough to get him off. She had no idea how much control she have over him. God help him if she ever figured it out.

Amanda opened her eyes and found Taylor's face slick with her cum. She pulled him up her body and kissed him. She wanted to taste herself. To see what it was like for him. She felt cool, wetness against her hip and looked down.

Taylor snickered again, "You made me cum in my pants, baby. That hasn't happened since I was... no wait, it's never happened."

Amanda giggled, "Is that a good thing?"

Shaking his head, Taylor stood and stripped off his pants. "I don't know. Maybe good for you. If you can do this without touching me," he gestured toward his now sticky pants and underwear, "Then what can you do when you apply yourself?"

He watched as her eyes went from laughing to smoky and he growled. His half softened cock twitched and began to stir back to life. He smirked as her eyes grew wide at the size of him.

Amanda looked up at Taylor and her cheeks flamed bright red. "It's huge," she whispered, "Taylor, it'll never fit!"

Taylor crawled onto the bed and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her gently and sighed when their bodies came into full contact for the first time. "It'll fit, baby, don't worry."

Amanda looked down at it again, unsure.

"Go ahead. Touch it."

She swallowed hard but reached a shaken hand down and ran a fingertip over the tip of his purple head. Taylor hummed and she took that as a good sign. She slid down the shaft and felt the hardness of it but it was so smooth and soft. "It feels like velvet," she whispered. "How could something so hard be so soft?"

Taylor didn't have an answer so he just buried his face in her hair. The light tentative touches were driving me crazy again. The woman would be the death of him before he ever got inside of her.

Not wanting to make her feel like she was doing something wrong but desperately needing her to stop, he rolled over onto her and pressed his cock against her side.

"Amanda,"

The way he said her name, so full of lust and longing. She shifted and wrapped her arms around him.

"Taylor,"

Taylor moved between her legs and paused as he looked down into her face. "Tell me if I need to stop." He put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes for a moment, "I'm afraid of hurting you,"

She touched his face, "You could never hurt me,"

"You're so tiny,"

"We're made for each other, Taylor. I'll be fine."

He wasn't so sure. Fuck, what was he going to do? He was going to rip her in half. He wasn't a normal sized man. He was large, something he'd always been proud of until now.

Taylor had taken a virgin or two in his days but they never mattered to him. He felt bad now, for the way he used them and tossed them aside. He took away a special moment from them and they could never get it back. A moment that he and Amanda were experiencing now. They'd remember this for the rest of their lives.

Taylor whispered to her, told her he loved her and positioned himself at the apex of her thighs.

"You ready?" he asked her before he moved forward.

Amanda smiled and nodded. Yes, she was ready to become a woman. She was ready to become a true wife and she was ready to make a baby. "Yes, Taylor, I'm ready."

He looked down between their bodies and blinked back tears. He moved his hips forward and watched the tip of his cock disappear slightly into her wet folds. He stopped and shook his head. He'd never fit. He was too big. What were they going to do?

He felt a wave of panic sweep over him, moistening his skin and making his heart pound.

"Taylor?"

He looked up at her and blinked.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna rip you in half."

"No you won't. Come on, Taylor. We've waited long enough!"

He shook his head and watched as a spark of anger formed in her eyes. "Taylor Reese, it is your duty to make love to your wife. That's me! So we'll make it fit. I can't be the only small woman you've been with."

He winced at her words but it was the truth. He'd been with a few but they'd been sluts and used to a good, hard fucking.

"They weren't virgins," he told her hoarsely.

"I won't be either in about three minutes." Amanda wiggled against him and he groaned, "I want you inside of me, Taylor."

Amanda couldn't believe how bold she'd become. All she knew was she was throbbing and humming between her legs and she wanted to know what it was like to have him inside her.

Taylor trembled. He was determined to go slow and stretch her so she could take all of him. He pushed forward and she gasped and clenched her eyes shut.

He let out a strangled cry when he reached her hymen and stopped. Their breathing was fast and shallow as he fought for control and she got a grip on the burning pain.

Amanda arched her back, sucked in a deep breath, gritted her teeth and ordered him inside of her. "Do it, Tay!"

It was an order and he would've laughed if the situation was any different. They'd been married for five hours and she was telling him what to do.

Taylor kissed her and surged forward.

Amanda grunted in pain and stiffened under him and he cursed himself ten times a fool.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. He wanted to pull out but he was afraid that if he moved he'd hurt her again.

Amanda just shook her head as tears leaked from her eyes. She sucked in a breath through her nose and blew it out. As the pain lessened, she turned to find Taylor's mouth with her own.

She kissed him and tasted the saltiness of his tears. Reaching up, she cupped his face in her hands and looked him in the eyes.

Her thumbs brushed at the tears that ran down his cheeks, "I love you, Taylor."

He swallowed and bent his head. His tongue flicked out to drink from the moisture on her face. "I love you, Amanda."

Taylor moved. He pulled back slightly and watched her as he slid in slowly. He saw no pain reflected in her eyes and repeated the move, this time, making the stroke longer.

Her mouth fell open and she moaned.

"Does that feel good?" he asked her, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from her.

"Yes," she sighed.

He shifted her hips and she wrapped her legs around his. He stroked and she gasped.

Taylor never knew it could be like this. This perfect. She was so tight and hot, she was burning him alive. The way her body gripped him had him almost mindless and he couldn't help his body's response.

He rotated his hips and felt her shudder. That's it. He did it again and she trembled. Words whispered from both of them. Renewed promises of love. Cries of desire. Of passion.

They begged for release and wished it would never come. Knowing it wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough.

Taylor groaned her name as he felt his back stiffen. He had to cum, he needed her to cum with him.

Her nails dug into his back, pulling him close. Her back arched. She stilled. He stiffened.

They exploded into each other. Their cries of pleasure fading along with the last of the sun.

--

**Two weeks later**

Taylor came down stairs covered in paint and pissed off at the world. "I fuckin' hate painting. I'm never painting again."

Amanda just shook her head at his sour mood, sighing she picked up an apple and took a bite. "That's too bad. I guess I'll have to hire someone to paint the nursery then."

She watched as Taylor stood straighter, turned and looked at her. A silent question burning in his chocolate eyes.

"Nursery?" he asked, unsure if he'd heard her right.

Amanda smiled and nodded. "We still have a few months. I want to wait till we find out what we're having?"

Taylor blinked at her before he smiled, "Are we pregnant, baby?"

"Yes. I just took the test. It was glowing pink at me." She laughed as he picked her up and kissed her head. "Taylor, we're gonna have a baby!"

Taylor threw back his head and laughed with joy then he put her down on the ground and kissed her stomach.

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, "It's a boy."

"It could be a girl."

Shaking his head, he placed a trembling hand on her now flat tummy, "No, it's a boy. We made him the first time, didn't we?"

Tears streaming down her face, she nodded, "I think so."

Taylor stood and pulled her close. Kissing her gently he asked, "Are you happy, Amanda?" She nodded, "I love you."

"I am, Taylor. Because of you."

FIN

**Because Of You by Kelly Clarkson**

I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh every day of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid

Because of you  
Because of you

**Amanda by Boston **

Babe, tomorrows so far away  
There's something I just have to say  
I don't think I can hide what I'm feelin inside  
Another day, knowin I love you  
And I, I'm getting too close again  
I don't want to see it end  
If I tell you tonight will you turn out the light  
And walk away knowin I love you?

I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize,  
Amanda  
I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day,  
Amanda  
I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand  
Amanda  
I love you

And I feel like today's the day  
I'm lookin for the words to say  
Do you wanna be free, are you ready for me  
To feel this way  
I don't wanna lose you  
So, it may be too soon, I know  
The feeling takes so long to grow  
If I tell you today will you turn me away  
And let me go?  
I don't wanna lose you

I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize,  
Amanda  
I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day,  
Amanda  
I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand  
Amanda

You and I  
I know that we can't wait  
And I swear, I swear it's not a lie girl  
Tomorrow may be too late  
You, you and I girl  
We can share a life together  
Its now or never  
And tomorrow may be too late

And, feelin the way I do  
I don't wanna wait my whole life through  
To say I'm in love with you


End file.
